Radio Waves

by Richard Cason

THE THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ ARE SOLELY THOSE OF HIGH-PROFILE RADIO PERSONALITY RICHARD CASON AND IN NO WAY REFLECT THE THOUGHTS, CLAIMS OR VIEWS OF "OFF MAGAZINE" OR ANY OF ITS SISTER PUBLICATIONS.

The disclaimer: The media's only weapon to combat those who would try to litigate against said media for doing something that they were explicitly told not to buy into or do in the first place.

Are we such mindless sheep that we need to be told exactly what not to do? Most people are sick and tired of having their intelligence insulted every time that they have to sit through a disclaimer just to watch their favorite reality TV show of the day.

Surprisingly enough, though, there is a significant portion of American society that would be completely lost without their disclaimers, usually those pertaining to the most blatantly obvious situations. Even more surprisingly, there is a portion of American society that will read the disclaimer, stare blankly at their ceiling fan for half-an-hour, and then do something stupid anyway.

"Yer tellin' me that ifin' ah dump this hot coffee on muh lap, I could suffer serious injury? Git outta town! You mean science dudn't "know" whut'll happn' to me ifin ah decide to spread this hemmoroidal cream on this here snack cracker and then eat it? Well, hellfar, someone's gotta find out!"

Be aware that these people do exist and are out in force.

Here's a disclaimer for you:

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING SHOW FEATURES STUNTS PERFORMED BY PROFESSIONALS AND/OR TOTAL IDIOTS UNDER VERY STRICT CONTROL AND SUPERVISION. MTV AND THE PRODUCERS INSIST THAT NEITHER YOU NOR ANYONE ELSE ATTEMPT TO RECREATE OR PERFORM ANYTHING YOU HAVE SEEN ON THIS SHOW.

This is the disclaimer shown before and during MTV's wildly successful freakshow, "Jackass." The show features skateboarder-turned-poor-man's Evel Knievel, Johnny Knoxville, and his funhouse mirror reflection of the super friends that he has assembled.

Their mission - to take the guerilla comedy pioneered by Andy Kaufman to the next logical step, which is overwhelming embarrassment and pain.

"Jackass" has featured semi-nude men running down busy streets in handcuffs, young adults literally (though comically) beating the crap out of their fathers, and people doing moonsaults off of 9-foot-tall ladders while landing in a pile of elephant dung.

Now that's entertainment.

Pepper spray, stun guns, Tasers, and even crossbows have been used during some of the show's wilder stunts, but the show's most infamous stunt involved Johnny Knoxville having meat hung onto him while lying down on a flaming barbecue pit.

Which brings us to the point of my column. After watching this particular episode, a group of young boys thought that it would be a hot idea (pun very much intended) to recreate Johnny's flaming pit stunt. You see where I'm going with this, don't you? As of this writing, a boy is hospitalized in critical condition.

While I certainly hope that he pulls through and re-adjusts to society once he is healed, I have to say, "Boy, what were you thinking? Was it peer pressure or are you just not wrapped very tightly?"

So now MTV is being called irresponsible for airing these kinds of stunts and to do so without adequate warnings.

I just have to wonder - is anyone in today's United States of America accountable for their own actions? It seems nobody, but nobody has to be held accountable for anything that they might have done!

"I didn't set your son on fire, sir. It was the lighter fluid and the matches. ..."

"I didn't kill my 6-year-old playmate while practicing wrestling moves on her. It was the hard, unforgiving pavement that I was repeatedly slamming her head into that killed her. Honest it was!"

MTV replied with the statement: it is made extremely clear throughout the show, through the use of written and verbal warnings, that none of the featured should be tried at home.

I would like to also point out that during any dangerous stunt performed on "Jackass" there is a skull and crossbones shown on the bottom right corner of the screen to signify - what? Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!

The skull and crossbones is the same symbol used on any bottle of - what? Poison!

When we were little and we saw that symbol on anything we instantly knew, Hey, I'm reasonably certain that this isn't Tang! I better not touch this stuff!

I talked about this on my radio show a few nights ago where I posed the question to my listeners, "Is MTV responsible?" I'm sorry that everyone who called in didn't get a chance to go on the air, but the consensus was overwhelming: "People should know better!"

What it all comes down to is two words that I happen to despise: "Political correctness."

PC has produced an entire generation of feebs and simps that sue other people for their own actions. This nonsense about how society is to blame, and how TV is to blame, and how Hollywood is to blame, and how rap lyrics are to blame, has become the easy-out for anyone who does something ridiculous and doesn't have the brass to fess-up to it.

The media is terrified of this unfortunate fact of life and now have to air disclaimers telling you not to do something that most people with only one-tenth of their brain wouldn't do anyway!

It should be noted that during the stunt in question, Johnny Knoxville was wearing - what? A flame retardant suit! They also had pyrotechnicians on standby, and just in case the stuff really hit the fan they filmed the segment next to a swimming pool!

The bottom line is this: "Jackass" airs with a rating of TV-MA, which means "mature audiences," which, in turn, means "big people." "Jackass" also airs with a disclaimer telling you not to imitate anything that you see, harmless or not. The rating and the disclaimer are there for your parents to acknowledge so they can tell you to turn that off and go build a treehouse.

So don't be a mark and buy into that bull from Capitol Hill about how the entertainment industry, MTV and Gen-X have combined their forces in order to destroy the "precious moral fiber of America's youth" along with other assorted cliche`s. If blaming the media is the man's ready-made-just-add-water-excuse for stupidity, then the disclaimer is the media's only defense against stupidity.

I will continue watching "Jackass" because I enjoy watching these people hurt themselves. I admit it. But you can rest assured that I will not be imitating anything that they do.

If you continue to watch this program after reading the disclaimer and after listening to verbal warnings from Johnny Knoxville and then you still try to recreate what you have just seen, well, then it is you, my friend, who is the true jackass.

Richard Cason can be heard Monday through Friday from 7 p.m. until midnight on

100.7 KGMO. Be sure to check out "CasonLine" at

www.rcason.homestead.com.