Kill Your T.V.

By Jason Parker from Mix 104.7

jparker@withersradio.net

How much do you depend upon technology each day in your life? I don' t mean indoor plumbing and electric furnaces, I'm talking e-mail, pagers, cell phones, etc. Recently it occurred to me after visiting my family back home that technology has become almost too much a part of my life. It began on a Saturday, I was going to leave in the morning so I could visit for an extended period of time, and possibly catch the Cardinals game with my pop. But do to an excessive consumption of alcohol that Friday night after Club Mix 104.7, I was "good for nothing" as they say, until about 3p.m. There is something about four Long Island Iced Teas that leave me uninterested in whole heartedly participating in the next day. In my skewed mind frame I left for "home" without my cell phone and all but 3 crappy cds, which had fallen on the floorboards when I finally cleaned out my car. This was not really a problem because my fiancée was riding shotgun and we usually have really cool conversations during endless hours of travel in a car. However this time she through me for a rook because about 15 minutes into our northern trek, she fell asleep, leaving me in a state of utter confusion. Confusion complicated by the echo's of Nelly, hard liquor, and that "follow the leader" song by the Soca Boys that I finally got out of my head two months after leaving Cancun. The confusion was, to seek or not to seek. When you work for a radio station, hitting seek on your stereo in search of a good song is oft times better suited for brainwashing yourself than pleasure! It's like working at Imo's Pizza, eating it for lunch, dinner, and breakfast every day for a year. Although, I do think I could handle eating Imo's Pizza three or four times a week, it's some good stuff. After seeking, I found nothing appealing but the last minute or so of the new Fuel song. No music, no cell phone, no problem. This was my train of thought until five minutes of road hum passed. I cannot spell out the sound but it was something to the effect of "Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..thump...brrrrrrrrrrrr." The thump was road kill. After five minutes of nothing but pavement, pissed off truckers, and dead pets, I became jumpy and almost irritated with the lack of instant electronic gratification. I considered annoying my companion by waking her up for my own amusement just to start some guff, but decided against it at the last minute.

Finally after an hour and a half we arrived at our destination. The thought of home cooked ribs, tv, internet access, and a couch was truly beautiful. I was in heaven, til I was informed that pops had the computer in pieces and that a recent storm had messed up the sat. I was amazed and disappointed at how quickly I became jumpy and irritated again. Here I was amongst my loved ones, some of them whom I hadn't seen in more than two months, and I was getting snappy because I couldn't check my fantasy sports teams nor my email. That's when I realized two things. Number one, a fair majority of my life is cornered around technology. At the station we have the latest technology for everything. There aren't cds anymore because everything is high tech computer style. Even the phones are advanced digital KYRX-1047's and ZZXTC-69's. It's electronic overload. The second thing that occurred to me was that I don't make it home enough.

After an hour of sitting in the recliner back home, I accepted my fate for the next few hours. I was going to have a human conversation face to face with my family, utilizing spoken words and not typed ones. There was to be no management or friends calling my cell phone, and no XXX advertisements in my email, which by the way I did not sign up for. I was the victim of my own prank. Many of you are probably thinking "yah right, he's a perv" but really I can find my own internet pictures, promise. It all started when I got this brilliant idea to sign up some of my friends and enemies for "free xxx pictures" in their email. It was great until one of them seemed to pull a 180 on me. Not so funny now because everyday I have to delete about 20 xxx ads from my email account. It's a pain in the ass. By the way, for a cleaner prank, use fan clubs. I got bored one evening and signed up a friend of mine for over 200 fan clubs concerning everything from the Backstreet Boys to cooking. Don't think for a minute that I didn't hear about that.

Think about this for a minute though, do you rely on technology too much to get you through your daily life? Here is a simple test. Shut off your computer even if you are at work or school. Cut the power to your cell phone and pager. Kill your tv. Now look at the clock. Don't stare at it or you will change the outcome of this test. What time is it? Now, see how long you before you start getting jumpy. Does the lack of instant electronic gratification make you irritable? How long do you think you can go without checking your hotmail? The answer will be apparent to you in time. We are truly Generation D as Michelle Phillips called it. D meaning Digital! And because of the digital age, we have become impatient with even the simplest things in life. If we can't surf it, eat it, or answer it we become frustrated with it. Next time you get a spare minute, sit down and hand write a letter to your lover or a family member. Send it "snail mail"! Oh no, not that! Go for a jog without a walkman, read a book without the radio playing in the background, have sex without toys...this might not apply to all of you but I know what college is like and some of y'all are freaks. Do something that requires NO technology once a day. You'd be surprised at how much more laid back you will become. Oh yeah I almost forgot, kill your tv.