Good deeds on the cheap

(How to give a lot, get a lot, and not lose your pants in the process.)

Money sucks. Or at least not having any does. By the time you pay your rent, pay your tuition, go grocery shopping, buy beer, et cetera, there's nothing left, right? OFF! knows this. OFF! has that problem too, trust us. But lately it has occurred to the OFF! staff that there are other kinds of riches in life. Like a generous heart (cue sappy music...) Studies show that generous people live longer and have a lower depression re than stingy suckers. Sometimes giving money can feel just as good as getting it. What's this? You say you have no money to give? Well, OFF! contends that no matter how broke you are you've still got something to give- you just don't realize it yet. We'd like to offer a few pointers. Let's just call it:

1. Spend Time, Not Money

Time costs nothing. There are literally thousands of worthwhile organizations in the area that are desperately in need of volunteers, so don't try to say you can't find one. Some Suggestions:

*Be a Big* Sign up with Big Brothers Big Sisters and get your own personal Mini Me. The local chapter will match you with a kid who shares your interests. Think about it- you can take them to do all the childish things you think you're too old or too cool to do, like playing catch or going to a G-rated movie (you know you're dying to see Finding Nemo.)

And you don't need to worry if you don't have the scratch to do cool things all the time. "The idea is to develop a relationship between the Bigs and the Littles," says Nancy Jernigan, executive director of the Area Wide United Way, which helps fund the program. 'Take them to the grocery store, wash the car, read a book. You don't have to entertain them all the time." Call 339-0814 to get hooked up with a Little of your own, or 335-7555 to see what other skills you can donate to the United Way.

*Give a Lift* Drop into a retirement home and lift the residents' spirits just by hanging out there. Morgan Beasely, assistant director of social services at The Lutheran Home says that visits with their residents are encouraged. Stop in and listen to their stories. Ask questions about days gone by. If you're a history buff this is a great learning opportunity. Or just talk about your day. You could read aloud or sing or play an instrument if you're so inclined.

Or you can give a lift another way. "Volunteers can be used to transport residents to doctor appointments, Bible study or another outside activity," says Beasely. Most area retirement homes offer volunteer programs. Call any one of them for more info.

*Play with Kittens and Puppies* It seems like the Humane Society of Southeast Missouri would have no trouble finding people to play with cutesy little critters, but they do. "We need volunteers to help with everything from socializing the animals to cleaning cages to bathing the puppies," says Sue Sample, adoption office manager. (Note- bathing puppies sounds like something you could do with a Little.) "We also need volunteers for our mobile adoption services." If you love pets but can't have one yourself, call the Humane Society at 334-5837 to volunteer.

2. It's Free to Bleed

And it doesn't hurt, either. If you've been man or woman enough to get your ears or anywhere else pierced then you're ready to give blood. You already know what it feels like. One hot pinch and it's over, so don't be such a wuss. And when it's over you'll get a brownie or something.

Seriously, there's a big shortage of blood right now. The American Red Cross doesn't even have enough for a three-day supply. "Blood is like liquid gold," said Marcia Abernathy, Saint Francis' director of regional services, in a recent article in the Southeast Missourian. All types are needed and several blood drives are scheduled this month. Among them are: Lowes on July 18, St. Mary's Cathedral on July 20, Saint Francis Medical Center on July 23 and July 25 at the Osage Center. You can call 339-1822 for a full schedule of drives or for more information on donating.

3. Pull Tabs

Last year area McDonalds raised over $18,000 by simply collecting and recycling those little tabs on the top of soda and beer cans. How can something so tiny be worth so much? "Those little tabs are made of mostly pure aluminum," says Lynn Petzoldt, director of operations for local McDonalds. The money from the donated tabs goes to Ronald McDonald House Charities, an organization that funds services like housing sick children and their families while traveling for medical treatment, preventing child abuse, assisting refugees in war-torn nations and preventing child and teen suicides. Just collect the tabs and drop them off at any local McDonalds. If you'd like a special house-shaped container call the local McDonalds office at 334-7311.

4. Save Your Pennies

An informal OFF! survey found the average person has around $4.76 in their car. Go out and count it. We'll wait.

You back? Good. Now take that money and give it away. You'll never miss it. You probably didn't even know it was there. You could also set up a decorated coffee can in your office break room. Maybe put it on the microwave and 'charge' people to nuke their breakfast burritos. When it's full, donate the money.

5. Clean Out Your Closet

Or your whole house for that matter. The Salvation Army accepts donations of USEABLE clothes, furniture, appliances or household goods. Just be sure it's in good condition, because if they can't use it they just have to pay to haul it away. The Salvation Army offers home pick up of large items. Call 335-7000 for details.

6. Buy One get One Free

The Salvation Army also accepts donations of commercially canned or boxed food.

Just bring them to their headquarters on Sprigg. The Humane Society features a "Beggin List" for item donations. They need pet food and care items, office supplies, and cleaning supplies like paper towels, trash bags and liquid laundry detergent. From time to time you can find these items on sale for buy one get one free (Schnucks is good about this.) You can keep one and donate the other, or give both away and double your gift!

7. Use Your Mouse

Finally, next time you're on the web, check out any of a number of sites that donate to charity with every click of a mouse. These sites' sponsors agree to donate a specified amount to a designated charity for every person who clicks on the site's link. On most sites you can click once a day. Last year one site, The Animal Rescue Site, funded 11,720,254 bowls of food for homeless pets. Just go to www.theanimalrescuesite.com to help. For other causes, try www.thebreastcancersite.com, www.therainforestsite.com or www.thehungersite.com. You simply click; the sponsors foot the bill.

There is just not enough room to talk about every charity or volunteer opportunity, as much as we wish we could. But the point is that charity isn't just something for the rich snobs with house servants and monocles. Us poor slobs and college students can help too. Now, put this issue of OFF! away, get off your arse and go do something for your fellow man. We'll wait here.