Everybody's a critic - 'The Crocodile Hunter'

No stars

Have you ever passed through your kid's room while he is watching a movie and been stopped in your tracks wondering, "What is that?" Then you found yourself watching this fiasco and being pulled into it for a few minutes wondering how anyone could actually waste good money putting it together?

You can have this experience by going to see Steve and his wife in "Close Encounters of the Stupid Kind." If you need to catch a few zzz's this is the movie to go see. Just make sure you don't have your son with you poking you in the side saying, "Mom, wake up and watch the movie."

If you sift through the muck you can learn some things, like which spiders and snakes are more venomous, etc., but I can find that in a book if I feel the need to know, by crikey (Or is it by crocky?).

-- Michelle Chavez, customer service

Two stars

Ring, ring. Hello?

Agent Girl Cinema? (me) Yes.

This is your editor. Your mission (if you choose to accept) is to see a movie shot in the Australian Outback. Hear the word "crikey" uttered more than 50 times, the word sheila 40 times and hear the sentence "Isn't she a beaut?" 30 times.

This movie is a sneaky bloke. It pretends it has a plot. Shadowy government agents, wacky eccentric rancher (played by the fabulous Magda Szubanski of "Babe") and a wayward out-of-control croc who will eat anything and does!

Be warned, Agent Girl Cinema, this movie is great for the 5-to-10 age group or people with an I.Q. no higher than 50. Anyone else will experience a need to bash their head against a wall until unconscious.

Will you accept? No.

Why? Way over 10 years old.

Right.

-- Rhon Abraham, certified nurse's assistant

One star

This movie really bites. In fact, it was so awful that I was tempted to get up and walk out of the movie after about 20 minutes.

Aside from a Scotch-taped plot involving the CIA and a downed U.S. spy satellite, there is very little difference between the movie and the television show. There are certainly some tongue-in-cheek moments and a few laughs, but those were like having the dentist pat your hand while you sit through a root canal.

Kids may enjoy the action and the animals. Steve and Terry Irwin are pleasant and "fan friendly," but they should restrict their efforts to the Discovery Channel.

-- Bill Foster, store manager