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'Doing a Sally'Posted Thursday, September 2, 2010, at 12:00 AM
I was in line at the local Qdoba Mexican Restaurant the other evening and a lady in front of me was "doing a Sally."
I hate it when people "do a Sally."
Now, your name doesn't have to be Sally to "do a Sally." It could be anything. Jane or Lisa or Megan or even Steve or Ian or for that matter, Brad. Either gender can be caught "doing a Sally."
So what exactly is "doing a Sally?" It's what I call it when a person -- typically at a restaurant -- starts impersonating Meg Ryan's character from the movie "When Harry Met Sally" and places their order with very precise instructions. This doesn't usually bother other customers when it is a sit-down restaurant, but when it is a fast-food establishment -- like Qdoba -- it can be frustrating to the people behind them in line.
"I want sour cream on the burrito, but it needs to be on the side. No guacamole on the quesadilla, but can I substitute some of those yummy grilled vegetables? And I need some chips and dip, but can I get half the chips with extra salt and the other half with no salt at all?
When people in front of me in line at a restaurant reveal this type of fussy food ordering nature, I just want to swat them on the back of the head like the Gibbs character frequently does to his underlings on the N.C.I.S. program. Their special orders tend to bog down the queue.
Of course, I never do swat them. That would be assault and possible battery. I'm not sure what constitutes "battery." Perhaps that requires assaulting the person "doing the Sally" with a handy Die-Hard 12 volt.
Anyhow, I don't particularly want to go to jail because I wacked an annoying pain in the butt in the back of the head for micro-managing their food order. Yes, there is no question that they are highly annoying to both the people behind them in line and the workers behind the counter.
But in jail there is always the possibility of you "being a Sally."
Now, that is a completely different pain in the butt.
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Brad Hollerbach is the Director of Information Technology for the Southeast Missourian. His opinions are his own and do not reflect those of the newspaper or its editorial board. He writes this blog primarily for his own amusement and to parody the absurdities of the world we live in. He lives with his wife and cat in Cape.
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