Brad Hollerbach is the Director of Information Technology for the Southeast Missourian. His opinions are his own and do not reflect those of the newspaper or its editorial board. He writes this blog primarily for his own amusement and to parody the absurdities of the world we live in. He lives with his wife and two cats that don't really care for one another in Cape.

County Deserves A Share In the Casino

Posted Monday, May 10, 2010, at 12:00 AM

I read with the amusement -- but not surprise -- that the County's Presiding Commissioner believes that if the City of Cape Girardeau is awarded the state's soon to be available casino license then the County should have a share of the revenue it generates.

I was amused because the suggestion is rather ridiculous. Why would the county government need to be involved at all?

We already have convenient downtown access from both I-55 and Illinois thanks to the Shawnee Parkway and the Bill Emerson Bridge so we don't need the County's help there. And how to manage traffic in the immediate vicinity of a downtown casino is entirely the decision of the Cape Girardeau City Council.

In short, the county's resources are not needed and therefore -- in my opinion -- it should not have any say-so in a potential casino or be entitled to any of the earnings from it.

However, I've been on this planet long enough to know that some politicians just won't go away until they've gotten a piece of "The Action," (Can you say Rod Blagojevich? Yeah, I can't either.) so I was not surprised by the Commissioner's suggestion that the county be entitled to a share.

Therefore, to make the Presiding Commissioner happy, I recommend the following:

First, if a casino does come to town all residents of the county -- 21 and older -- will be given a complimentary membership to its V.I.P. Club which entitles all card holders to "Special Discounts!" and "Exciting Offers!" and if you show up at the gaming facility on your birthday, "A Free Beverage Of Your Choice!"

Secondly, since it has been pointed out by a number of posters on this website that the Presiding Commissioner bears a resemblance to the late actor Sorrell Booke, the casino must also include a dozen "The Dukes of Hazzard" slot machines with the net revenue from those machines going to the county.

They will progressives, of course. Just like the county.

(Photo)

Sorrell Book (left) as "Boss Hogg" from the TV series "The Dukes of Hazzard." Gerald Jones, the Presiding Commissioner of Cape Girardeau County is on the right.

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You're right Rick, the odds of Cape winning the license are steep. I'm not exactly clear on how the Gaming Commission will exactly choose a given location. I'm SURE it's a completely non-partisan process....

In my opinion, one negative aspect of any of the St. Louis bidders is the fact that after the President closes, the St. Louis Metropolitan area will still have 6 casinos -- 4 in Missouri and 2 in Illinois. I think adding a fifth casino on the Missouri side will just shift dollars around the metro market, not really grow any new revenue.

Here's some interesting information from the gaming commission website:

In the past year, the President was the second weakest casino in the state in terms of admissions (910k. Caruthersville had the lowest admissions at 814k), but C'Ville beat them on revenue by almost $10 million. Not bad for a "boat in a moat" as my dad likes to call C'ville.

Thanks for reading.

-- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Mon, May 10, 2010, at 8:52 AM

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