Buying a Gas Grill For The First Time

I recently bought a grill.

I've been grill-less ever since after my flimsy charcoal model bit the dust a few years ago. Instead I've been making do with a George Foreman tabletop appliance that most people would not consider a true "grill."

I first studied all the available options before buying. The only thing I knew for sure was that I wanted a model that used propane. While I am not anti-briquette, I am anti-cheap-briquette-grill and it seems that any of the really good charcoal models are both expensive and have the capacity to barbeque half a cow. Perhaps you have the need to cook that much meat at one sitting, but I don't.

However, while investigating my choices of gas grills, I quickly discovered that there are practically a thousand different makes and models.

After studying BTUs and the various possible grades of stainless steel used in the grills and porcelain versus painted and the numerous warranty options and attempting to figure out which manufacturer actually made a given grill, my head eventually just burst into flames from too much contemplating and I was able to roast a weenie on my noggin'.

Ok, so I might be exaggerating just a bit. My head did not burst into flames, although it felt like it could. Making big-ticket purchases can be a chore. You don't want to screw up.

However, after studying a Consumer Reports article on grills and laying hands on a fair number of them at fine retailers around town, I decided that all this effort really didn't matter.

That's not to say that I wasn't attracted to some seriously expensive grills, because I was. There was one grill in particular at Lowes that was a beauty. Lots of stainless steel, a built-in fridge and it came with a free rotisserie attachment that I know I would never use, but it was free!

And you could cook up to 40 hamburgers on it at the same time. Oh sure, I know I said I have no need for a grill with that kind of capacity, but I believe in being prepared and you never know when two or three dozen of your closest friends might drop by for dinner. It could happen. And did I mention the free rotisserie attachment?

Oh yes, she was gorgeous. I actually had one of those Tim-Allen-monkey-man moments while looking at it. Thankfully, I recovered my composure before the store employees called security on me.

But with beauty comes price. She weighed in at about $800 or several hundred more than I really wanted to spend. Perhaps, I'll take her home someday when I win the lottery.

One key discovery I made while researching grills is that most of them are not built for "lifetime" usage. If you can get 5 years of active use out of a grill, it looks like you are doing well. And while you can buy replacement parts for many grills, it's often cheaper to buy a brand-new unit.

So with that information in mind and the lust for the $800 hoochie mama slowly waning, I bought a middle of the road grill from Sears that had a number of good reviews on their website. It has 3 main burners and a side burner that -- like a rotisserie -- I will probably never use.

The grill I purchased also has a built-in thermometer that is marked with both degrees and what kind of cooking I can do at specific temperature range -- up to 225 degrees is warming, 225 to 350 is BBQ, 350 to 550 is grilling and 550 to 700 is preheat.

The preheat range rather puzzles me. There is no mention of the temperature gauge at all in the manual and therefore no reference as to why I should even consider preheating my grill to 700 degrees.

I wonder if the propane tank suppliers paid the grill makers to put these "specially marked" temperature gauges into grills like mine. Gullible folks might see that thermometer and assume that since it says "preheat" that they must get their grill that hot before they can do any actual cooking, and in the process, use up half-a-tank of gas.

The only time I can ever see myself getting my grill that hot is if I either take up musket shooting or alchemy. Both of those hobbies require heating lead whose melting point is 621 degrees and appears to be attainable with my new grill.

Actually, alchemy might not be a bad hobby to take up. If I could figure out how to turn lead into gold, it would be like winning the lottery.

Then I'd be rich.

Rich enough to buy that $800 hoochie mama.

Bonus Grilling Fun Facts

Since I have never owned a gas grill, I've never bought any of those little metal tanks you see stored in cages outside of finer gas stations everywhere. While there are primarily only two tank suppliers -- Blue Rhino and Amerigas -- the price ranges for the tanks vary widely. I found new tank purchases cost between $44 to $55 and tank swaps ranged by up to $10.

While researching my purchase, I did uncover a couple of interesting facts about gas grills worth sharing.

Until last year propane tank suppliers put 17 to 18 pounds of propane in each 20-pound tank. Tanks are never filled completely for safety reasons. But last summer, when petroleum prices were at their near all time high, the major suppliers decided to reduce the amount of gas in the tanks to 15 pounds. They claimed they did this to save consumers a price hike. How thoughtful.

However, over the last year the price of petroleum nose-dived along with the economy. Did the tank prices drop? Nope. And did the big suppliers add back the two to three gallons of gas since gas prices were now much lower? Nope. Greedy SOBs. I'm surprised some Attorney Generals haven't looked into this.

The other fun fact I picked up came from Consumer Reports. They claim that grills should be kept 50 to 100 feet away from swimming pools because the chemicals used to purify the water can prematurely rust them out. I'd never heard this bit of advice before. Considering average lot sizes, it might also be impossible to practice if you do happen to have a pool. Personally, I don't have that problem.

Here's a headscratcher. My Google stats soared from 888 last week all the way up to 4310. My Yahoo searches jumped an almost equivalent amount from 3600 to 7930.

My cat's Twitter account is up to 24 followers. Her Twitter account is patchthecat.