Spiritual Selfishness

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"I would like to know where in Heaven's name a bewildered and defeated person is going to go for the help he desperately needs if he doesn't go to God for it. Of course, he is concerned about himself. He can't help it. He ought to be. He must be, if he is ever going to be made useful to other people. But later on he must also grow up and stop just using God and begin to ask God to use him. Stop asking God to do what he wants, and begin to try to find out what it is that God wants."

-----Samuel Shoemaker(1957) as quoted in Alcoholic s Anonymous Comes of Age: A Brief History of AA, p. 265, New York: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

I found this quote from one of my favorite books calling to me this afternoon for some reason. Maybe my interest is based on the fact that it is hard for alcoholics to "unlearn" being selfish and self-centered and then, in time, to learn to instead be selfish in a healthy way.

I think Dr. Shoemaker's words effectively describe the spiritual process everyone has to undergo if they are to grow spiritually. As a child, adolescent, and young adult I thought the Golden Rule was all about doing good unto others, and it is. However, in time I came to realize "Do unto others as you would do unto yourself" also meant "doing good to yourself" because if you don't love and nurture yourself spiritually you will have nothing of value to offer others.

What I love about Dr. Shoemaker's words are that they remind me to "grow up" and go beyond using God and to start looking for ways I can be of use to God and others. If I am practicing a healthy form of spiritual selfishness, I should be able to share God's love and compassion with others. That is, I think, how I can be useful to God. I suppose what this means to me is if I am just "using" God, my conversations with God will always be filled with asking for things, privileges, favors, miracles, etc. Of course, I believe in asking God for specific things, but if I am to mature spiritually, I also need to be able to focus my prayers on learning to be aware of and willing to do what God's will is for me. I have just started to learn how to "listen" for God's messages to me regarding what He wants me to do even though for years I have been taught to pray "only for knowledge of His will for ..[me] and the power to carry that out" (Wilson, Bill; Smith, Dr. Bob [2011-07-21]. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous [Kindle Location 939], Kindle Edition). It has amazed me how clearly God's message is communicated to me if I am quiet, still my mind, and just listen.

Please comment and share your thoughts about the meaning of "spiritual selfishness" and how the content of prayer can change as one matures spiritually. My God bless and keep you.