The Power of Inclusivity: PFLAG Cape Girardeau advocates for local LGBTQ+ community and allies

When Lisa and Jim Dale’s son came out as gay, they decided they needed to learn more and find ways to be supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. They heard about PFLAG, a national group with chapters across the United States focused on supporting LGBTQ+ individuals, their families and allies. The closest chapter was in St. Louis, so for years, the couple drove there to be part of the group.

After talking to people in Cape Girardeau, Lisa and Jim Dale realized there was a need for PFLAG and its resources right where they were. So, the couple helped start Cape’s chapter in 2018, with Lisa serving as the chapter’s first president.

“[Southeast Missouri] is such a big area, and there are a lot of LGBTQ+ folk here,” Lisa says. “[PFLAG]’s purpose is to show that everyone deserves to be treated as equal and love who they want to love.”

PFLAG is part of a network of more than 400 PFLAG chapters across the United States. According to the PFLAG website, the group started in 1973, making it the first organization in the United States dedicated to advocating, educating and supporting LGBTQ+ people and their families.

Now, the Dales have passed PFLAG Cape’s leadership on to another couple, Mary and Jim Maginel, who became actively involved with the group around 2020. In October 2022, Jim Maginel finished up his two-year term as president of the chapter, and now his wife, Mary, is taking over.

“We have family members who are part of the LGBTQ+ community, and [we] realized that since almost all of them are far away, [joining PFLAG] might be a way to show our support to the [overall] community, not just to [our family], but to be allies across the board. … To learn more and educate ourselves, too,” Mary says.

Jim Maginel, past president of PFLAG, wears a hat with the Human Rights Campaign logo on it. The group's focus is on expanding and advocating for LGBTQ+ individuals' rights. Jasmine Jones

Jim Maginel says they have approximately a dozen active members in Cape’s PFLAG chapter; approximately half of them are a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and half of them are allies of the community. They meet once a month and clean up trash on Perryville Road along Kiwanis Park in Cape Girardeau, a stretch of road they’ve adopted as part of Missouri’s Adopt-A-Highway program.

PFLAG Cape also participates in Southeast Missouri State University’s Homecoming Parade each year, alongside SEMO PRIDE, Cape PRIDE and local high schools’ Gay Straight Alliances. They also award a scholarship to a local high school student who is an LGBTQ+ member or ally. Mary says in the past, PFLAG has partnered with the LGBTQ+ Resource Center at SEMO to create care packages for college students during finals week.

In Cape, the Maginels believe the most difficult challenge PFLAG has faced is being able to bring LGBTQ+ issues “out into the open.” The Maginels think there is a much more populous LGBTQ+ community in Cape Girardeau, and if LGBTQ+ issues such as inclusive health care, employment discrimination and rejection by family members were discussed more openly, it would be easier to reach and support those individuals in the area.

Jim Maginel says he recently discovered a research study released by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), that can be used to measure success in increasing LGBTQ+ visibility and inclusivity in Cape.

The HRC, established in 1980, is an advocacy and lobbying group dedicated to expanding LGBTQ+ individuals’ rights. The HRC releases an annual Municipal Equality Index (MEI) to evaluate and quantify the inclusiveness of municipalities’ codes, laws, policies and services.

MEI’s scores for each city are determined through the presence of nondiscrimination laws, municipal employment policies such as transgender-inclusive health benefits, the presence of LGBTQ+ services and responsible reporting of hate crimes, among other factors.

In the 2021 MEI, Cape Girardeau received a score of 12 out of 100 — the lowest score of the eight cities researched by the HRC in Missouri. Jefferson City, Mo., a city with approximately the same population as Cape Girardeau, received a score of 57. The larger cities of Columbia, Mo., St. Louis and Kansas City, Mo., all received scores of 100.

Jim Maginel says PFLAG is meeting with Cape Girardeau’s City Council and mayor to “discuss inclusive language or lack of inclusive language in city municipal codes” such as municipal employment policies. He hopes these conversations will boost Cape Girardeau’s MEI score.

With this index, Jim Maginel says they can literally measure Cape’s progress with inclusivity within laws, services and municipal systems. He says if the number goes up from 12, it’s a win because that means progress is being made. Jim Maginel says this progress would not only be beneficial to those within the LGBTQ+ community, it would also help Southeast Missouri’s growth.

“[Inclusiveness] is kind of like bike trails and parks and things that make a community attractive to people moving to it,” Jim Maginel says. “You know, it’s not just about having lots of stores or an opportunity for making a good income. There’s more to a community than that, and inclusiveness is one of those things that can enhance the selling point of a community, make it more comfortable for people to feel safe in and participate and contribute.”

Although there are many LGBTQ+ advocacy organizations, what makes PFLAG different is its focus on educating and supporting allies, as well as those directly involved in the community. Mary says her favorite definition of an ally comes from the book “The Savvy Ally,” by Jeannie Gainsburg, and states, “An ally is a person who is not part of a particular marginalized group, but who stands up for and advocates for the rights of the people who are in that group.”

PFLAG offers a variety of publications and resources to allies who wish to learn more about how to support their family and loved ones within the LGBTQ+ community. Jim Maginel says PFLAG Cape offers support to allies by first “letting them know they’re not alone.”

“Becoming an ally is a coming out process in itself. It’s very similar to coming out as a member of the [LGBTQ+] community, because there’s some anxiety, and you’re careful about who you let know you’re an ally,” Jim Maginel says. “We still have so much more to learn, having not been directly a part of the community, and the community is changing so much with inclusiveness and younger people being more forthright.”

Jim Maginel says the younger generation is generally more open and accepting of the LGBTQ+ community, as compared to his generation. He says joining PFLAG has helped him “work through” the cultural ideas he grew up with. He says it was a process, but it’s possible.

“The basic fact is almost any human being has some sort of connection with folks who are somewhere else on that line of sexuality,” Jim says. “Just knowing folks in the LGBTQ+ community, it’s just enriched our lives to have those kind of connections.”