The Best Books Club Column: "The Love Story of Missy Carmichael," by Beth Morrey

In her witty, yet poignant, debut novel “The Love Story of Missy Carmichael,” Beth Morrey introduces an endearing, but arguably exasperating, protagonist, 78-year-old Millicent Carmichael. Through Missy and the events that unfold throughout the novel, the author explores themes that resonate with readers in their prime-time years of nearing and post-retirement: loneliness, relationship issues, financial stress, aging and love.

“Sometimes,” Missy says, “the loneliness was overpowering. Not just the immediate loneliness of living in a huge house on my own, loved ones far away, but a more abstract, galactic isolation.” While some of my widowed and divorced friends say they never feel lonely, most of my older, single friends and I have found Missy’s words to be true.

And, as Missy says, it’s not just the “immediate” and transient loneliness of living alone in an apartment or house. Single prime-timers often struggle with a sense of being alone on a grander scale, wandering un- tethered in a world populated by couples and families.

Even married prime-timers can struggle with loneliness due to relationship changes. Adult offspring busy with their own lives and/or living great distances away, as well as the loss of the day-to-day interaction with coworkers can lead to feelings of loss and isolation.

Like Missy, prime-timers often experience financial stress. Increases in the cost of living and additional medical expenses that accompany aging bodies cause significant strain on a fixed and/or reduced income.

And, of course, there’s the more general issue of aging itself. As a younger individual watching my parents age, I thought I knew what my own aging process would entail. A few more wrinkles, of course, a bit less energy, the introduction of a few aches and pains, and occasionally forgetting where I put my car keys. “No big deal,” I thought. “Nothing to stress about!”

Somehow, I missed the part about saying good-bye to sleeping through the night and to emulating the “snap, crackle and pop” of my favorite childhood cereal Rice Krispies when standing after relaxing in a favorite chair for even a short period of time. My own wrinkles seem far more pronounced than my parents’, and in the past year, I’ve spent more time researching how to correct crepey skin than I did treatment for the handful of pimples I had during all of my teen years!

Just 10 years ago, conversations with friends focused on our social outings and various activities we were involved in. While those are still often discussed, other topics dominate the conversation: so-and-so’s upcoming knee replacement, musings about how much tighter the lids are on jars these days, and the fact our short-term memory is like a sieve and our bladders have shrunken significantly!

Oh yes, “The Love Story of Missy Carmichael” hits on the less-than-positive aspects of aging.

But in the end, that is not what stood out to me as I read the novel and what remains foremost in my mind as I reflect on it. Rather, it is the reminder that when we push beyond our comfort zones by opening ourselves up to new and different experiences, friends, loves and lifestyle choices, we find renewed energy, purpose and even joy.

__Some topics and questions we’ll discuss in our Facebook Live chat:__

1. Did your impression of Missy Carmichael change as you read the book? In what way?

2. Is there someone in your life who has forced you to step out of your comfort zone and see yourself in a different light? If so, how did you respond to that?

3. The concept of oikos is important to Missy. Do you think it plays a role in your life? Why?

4. Do you agree with the saying “age is just a number?”

5. Does Missy’s story change the way you think about aging? About finding love later in life? Explain.

__Up Next:__

I’ve decided to do something a bit different for our March selection by building on one of the themes of this month’s book. To that end, I’m challenging you to think of something you have dreamed of — or maybe just considered — doing differently that will push you beyond your current comfort zone. Maybe you’ve considered something like attending line-dancing classes, volunteering with a nonprofit organization, learning to crochet or play pickleball, visiting every Missouri State Park, or watching each of the 95 Oscar winners for “Best Film.” Whatever your topic, choose a fiction or nonfiction book that is in some way tied to it.

Patti Miinch, a resident of Cape Girardeau, is an author, mother and mother-in-law of two, grandmother of five and retired educator; while she has many loves, spending time with her family, sports, travel and reading top the list.