Notes from a Hospice Nurse: Why I am honored to do my job

~Claire J. Kneer, RN, BSN, MHA is the director of Home Health and Hospice for Saint Francis Healthcare System. She has served in this position since 2015 and was the manager for hospice in 2014, the year Saint Francis Hospice began serving patients and families.

Several months ago, I was asked why I love what I do. In this time of the pandemic, we may be losing sight of those leaving this earth for other reasons, and I want to remember them, as well as those who are dying from this ruthless illness and those who cannot be with their family members who are suffering.

I have had several people ask me: How do you do it? How do you watch people die every day? How do you deal with so much death?

I tell them it is my pleasure. It is my pleasure to be a part of the team that cares for our patients and families.

I don't watch people die everyday; I get to know people. I get to know the stories of their lives. I get the honor of knowing them in the best times of their lives -- when they are most vulnerable and most honest. I get to witness the families' joy of sharing these moments. I get to witness siblings reuniting after years of separation in a time of need. I get to enjoy the stories that will be shared for years to come with generations to come.

I love being able to bring them home to the farm, to the dog who is waiting patiently for them to return, to the window in their living room so they can have one last look at the sunrise, and allowing them to live the rest of their life on their own terms.

Yes, there is sadness, but that's not the reason or the purpose of my job. My job is not sad. Yes, I cry; yes, I ache when we lose someone, but I am honored to have been such a minor part of their life -- more than I can express in words. My job is not sad; it is my passion. My passion is making the most of this significant time in our patients' lives and sharing their lives, a remembrance for their loved ones, making a mark in history for them. I wish I could bring them all together at this time.

One of my favorite memories is of a patient who asked me to please take care of his wife, and I promised him we would do our best. Five years later, our team is still having lunch with her and hugging, crying, smiling and laughing at their stories.

My job is amazing because it is not a job; it is a calling and a gift from God that I did not ask for but answered when he opened the door, and I am blessed every day that I did.

Most of all, I thank all of our patients for allowing us to become a part of their families. I want all of our families to know we are here now, later and as long as you need us. God bless you all.

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Tips for those dealing with a life-limiting illness

Hospice is not designed for the last few days of life; hospice is designed to serve those who have been determined to have a life expectancy of six months or less. We have had patients on service for longer than two years.

Hospice is key to ensuring you or your family member lives the remaining months of their life with dignity, the way they want, where they want and on their terms.

When a person no longer wants to go to the hospital or emergency room for frequent symptom management, it may be time for hospice.

Anyone can make a referral to hospice. The hospice team and medical director, along with the patient's primary physician, can determine whether a patient qualifies or not.

Hospice is not giving up. It is taking back control and changing the direction of care. The care is provided in the comfort of your own home or wherever home may be. If your family member resides in a skilled nursing facility, hospice can provide care there, as well. In these most recent times, the hospice team may be able to see your family member firsthand and be that extra set of eyes and ears that may help you be more comfortable knowing your loved one is cared for.