Going Through the List

At age five, it was a lot of fun to peruse the Sears catalogue. Seeing so many toys stimulated my imagination. It also helped me learn how to set priorities. I would list all the toys I wanted, including some from Grant's and Ben Franklin downtown, and show the list to my parents. They would always laugh because our family income was limited to my dad's teacher's salary and my mom's job as a part-time reporter for the Southeast Missourian. "Write down a couple for your birthday (September 6) and a few more for Christmas," they advised.

Let's raise the lid of my toy box and see some of the toys that made it.

The Etch-A-Sketch was an interesting toy. At least, in theory. Maybe I twisted the knobs the wrong way and broke it. The TV commercial showed kids sketching Gothic cathedrals with intricate precision. I was lucky to keep my shaky lines from zig-zagging off the screen. My cathedral looked more like a lean-to slapped together without a saw. Or hammer and nails, for that matter. Eventually, I did improve, but only so much.

Does anybody else remember a toy so odd it was called Odd Ogg? The TV jingle said it was "half turtle and half frog." You rolled four balls at its wide mouth, and if they all went in, he moved closer. If not, he moved backward and stuck out his tongue. The jingle continued, "Don't you laugh at him at all. Odd Ogg plays ball!" This toy did not make my toy roster, but it does remind me of the classic SNL parody "Happy Fun Ball," in which the announcer warns of the many dangers of this toxic toy and finally intones, "Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball!"

Here's one sought-after present, the Learn-to-Draw Set by self-taught artist Jon Gnagy, in which he asserted that he could teach "anyone" to draw, which led me to make it a high priority. As soon as the wrapping paper was off the box, I began absorbing his instruction. The supplies in the box included a kneaded eraser, which led to the obvious joke about just how much I would "need" it when I started trying to draw. But after many enjoyable hours, it turned out that I really had developed much of what ability I had.

Jon Gnagy had that artist's look with his goatee, which made him look a bit like another toy hero of that time, Ed "Big Daddy" Roth from Southern California, who built and raced custom cars and hot rods. He was more Beat, like a zany goateed Maynard G. Krebs type. Boomers may remember assembling his models of Rat Fink, Brother Rat Fink, Drag Nut, Mother's Worry and other weird characters. Offshoots of these models from other artists include the Weird-Oh's series, which featured creatures with bulging, bloodshot eyes in hot rods. And in 1962, the Aurora Co. introduced a realistic model of Frankenstein's monster, the first of 13 realistic movie monster models that swept the nation.

Of course, when I was but a wee lad, we had fun with our Mr. Potato Heads. The lumps and rugged angles gave them personality. Mom said I should only use the old, stale potatoes (spell check, Dan Quayle?), but shape dictated my tater choices, and her words supposedly kept slipping my mind. So we ate a lot more rice, for a while.

Remember the toy companies' slogans? Like, "You can tell it's Mattel, it's swell!" Or, "It's Kenner, it's fun! Awwwk!" (That was the Gooney Bird.) And, "Boy Oh Boy! It's a Hasbro Toy!"

We'll revisit toys again in the December Christmas column. There are more memories to mine. We've only scratched (etched?) the surface.

Here's a little homework until next time. Google this great toy: Robot Commando. Then watch a one-minute vintage commercial that hooked in many a kid, including my younger brothers and me.

~Burton Bock has transitioned from middle-aged man to retired man. He enjoys reading, writing and sometimes even 'rithmetic.