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otherNovember 8, 2021

When I was perhaps 8 years old, I remember being sick, and my mother, Cecelia Bender, would sit beside me holding my hand. She was with me when my wisdom teeth were cut out, and when it came time for my appendectomy in junior high, I remember waking up in the hospital with Mom sitting beside my bed. She had stayed all night...

Steven Bender
Steven Bender's mother, Cecelia Bender, pictured here with dogs Violet and Dawn, passed away in September. Cecelia loved to be outdoors.
Steven Bender's mother, Cecelia Bender, pictured here with dogs Violet and Dawn, passed away in September. Cecelia loved to be outdoors.Submitted Photo

When I was perhaps 8 years old, I remember being sick, and my mother, Cecelia Bender, would sit beside me holding my hand. She was with me when my wisdom teeth were cut out, and when it came time for my appendectomy in junior high, I remember waking up in the hospital with Mom sitting beside my bed. She had stayed all night.

On Friday, Sept. 24, 2021, my loving mother passed away after an illness, and during her 10-day hospital stay, I visited her as much as I could and held her hand for hours, too. It bothered me to leave her, but I was unable to stay all the time.

My father, Arthur, and mother early-on loved to travel when time and finances permitted. Because I was the “baby of the family,” I had to go with them, and as I look back on it, I really enjoyed our time together.

In the first years, we camped using a Coleman canvas tent, later moving up to a pop-up trailer, and finally, they were able to get themselves a self-contained trailer, of which they had differing models over the years. We also took vacations about once a year, including one with my sister, Linda, when we went to Florida. We loved Gatlinburg, Tenn., the Smoky Mountains and especially a trip to Pikes Peak in Colorado and the Continental Divide. We took short camping trips to Trail of Tears State Park and Giant City, Ill., and I can still remember the smell of bacon frying in a skillet over our Coleman stove.

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Mom loved her children, her grandchildren, and in later years, the household dogs we’ve had, including Belle, Abbie, and now Violet and Dawn. With the exception of this year, I took Mom to the Smoky Mountains eight of the last nine years, and we had our pup(s) with us on each trip. We always went in October to hopefully see the fall colors and have cooler air for transporting the pups there and back. We hit the fall foliage perfectly in 2019, even in Maggie Valley, N.C., and we really enjoyed Flapjacks Restaurant and local shops.

We had talked about going again this year, but Mom’s health began declining, and she moved to the Lutheran Home. One day, while taking care of personal matters with my brother, she began to get sick, and by Sept. 15, she was hospitalized. Among other things, the antibiotic she had started was ineffective.

On Sept. 22, we had family gather with her, our pastor visited and had a prayer of departure, and we all knew we were telling her we loved her one last time.

One of the RNs knew about our dogs, and she said the hospital could give permission for me to bring one by, so that Thursday, I took Dawn. By then, however, Mom was unresponsive. Even so, the next morning, I took Mom’s dog, Violet, so Mom might see her one last time. Mom had picked Violet out of the litter and named her after her favorite color. While Violet and I visited that morning, Mom passed quietly. Maybe Mom somehow knew we were there, but it was closure I’ll likely need over time.

Though my parents are no longer with me, the years of love, travel, family gatherings, church attendance, baked dishes and fishing trips will not be forgotten. Our family misses them both, and we wait with expectation for when we’ll see them again.

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