My "Momma Mind"

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Perhaps it started this morning when I glanced in the mirror and saw my mother looking back at me. She loved me very much, but she did, by example, teach me to be overly critical of everything. I sat in a meeting this morning and caught my mind criticizing how one person looked as well as how one person spoke.

In addition, in the meeting we were reading about AA's slang term, "two-stepping." AA's "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (Anonymous, 1981, p. 113) discusses two-stepping as follows: "We temporarily cease to grow because we feel satisfied that there is no need for all of A.A.'s Twelve Steps for us. We are doing fine on a few of them. Maybe we are doing fine on only two of them, the First Step and that part of the Twelfth where we 'carry the message.'" Of course, in my "Momma Mind" I immediately thought of my ex-husband, who was, and for all I know still is, the all time master of two-stepping.

What does all this "critical thinking" (and I don't mean the kind sought after in educational circles) indicate? For me, this morning, it means I forgot to be "right-sized" as discussed in "As Bill Sees It" (Anonymous, 1967, p. 106): "'Perfect humility would be a full willingness, in all times and places, to find and to do the will of God." The author goes on to emphasize the importance of knowing one can never be perfect in this area and should, instead, accept that we instead are just beginning this spiritual journey. The author adds, "As I thus get down to my right size and stature, my self-concern and importance become amusing."

Simply put, I need to "get over myself" when I find myself in my "Momma mind." I need to realize my critical focus is a way of my ego patting itself on its back and saying "See, but for the Grace of God there go I." In actuality, when I am critical I have voluntarily removed myself from the Grace of God. I have distanced myself from "finding and doing God's will." My God has told me over and over again to "judge not lest ye be judged." Yet, there I sat this morning actively and automatically criticizing almost everything.

Reading all this may not help anyone else today, but I had to write it to remind myself to accept my fallibility and my ego-centeredness. I need to laugh at myself and move on in a "right-sized" sort of way. So I am going to close with a written request to God to help me be aware of, to accept, and to do His will. Perhaps I will even remember to remind myself every time I walk through a doorway to think, "Thy will, not mine." If I can do this just for today I will be out of my "Momma mind" and back on a spiritual pathway.

Please comment and share your thoughts about what part being critical of others plays in your life and what has helped you not be so critical. Thanks, may God bless and keep you.