Making choices for my child -- and standing up for them

When I was a baby back in the '80s, my mom did the cloth diaper and no formula thing for the first year of my life. For my parents, it wasn't done because it was the cool new thing; it was done because they couldn't afford fancy new disposable diapers and formula.

But that was 1985, and in today's society, the trendy thing to do is cloth diapers, all organic homemade baby food and breast-feeding only. If you don't do these things, the mommies in your play circle, church and even in the grocery store look at you like you are poisoning your child or that your child will hate you forever for not smashing up your own green beans for them.

The first time around I tried breast-feeding, but after two weeks my milk dried up and I just couldn't produce enough for Cooper to get what he needed to be healthy. After a long talk with my doctor and his doctor, we switched to formula. Boy, was it different! Cooper slept longer, waited longer between feedings, and Max and the grandparents could participate in feedings, which helped them to connect with Coop and bond. Cooper has grow up just fine on formula and hasn't had any serious health or learning issues. In fact, he is brighter than I would like him to be at times.

Never did it cross my mind three years ago to even consider cloth diapers, either. The thought of spending pretty much my whole day cleaning feces or urine out of something just did not appeal to me. It was bad enough cleaning my child up after a blowout, let alone the diaper. I clipped coupons and so did my friends and family, and we stocked up on diapers when they were on sale. I also quickly learned that I did not have to have the name-brand fancy stuff to cover my kid's behind. Target & Toys 'R' Us brands became our go-to for a fraction of the price of Pampers or Huggies.

One thing I did do that wouldn't get me shunned today was make Cooper's baby food. I did this not because I was concerned about the preservatives and chemicals in the store-bought stuff, but because I discovered how incredibly easy and cheap it was to make my own. Being on a budget, it just worked better for us to buy a $1 packet of microwave steam veggies at the store, blend them up with some formula and freeze it.

This time around, things are much different. I don't get questions on my or the baby's health anymore, or what we are going to name her. The questions I get are what brand of cloth diapers do I think are best, or did I get the newest breast-feeding poncho so that I can feed the baby anywhere. It has only been three years since I have had an infant, but it seems like the mommy society has completely changed.

I now feel judged when I tell the lady in line at the market that no, unlike your daughter, I am not cloth diapering. I am given a cold stare when I say I am going to pump, but not exclusively breast-feed my daughter. The words "bottle" and "formula" are the new cuss words in mommy world.

Different things work for different people. For some, cloth diapers and breast-feeding may be the way to go. For others, like me, disposable and formula might be the best choice.

Here is where I stand: I won't judge you if you don't judge me. I will support you if you feel the need to clean poop out of your child's diaper three times a day, and you support me if I feel like I would rather "kill the environment" with disposables. In my opinion, as long as your child is healthy and happy, then you are doing your job as a parent, no matter what you are putting their mouths or on their butts.

Kristen Pind, a native of small-town Gower, Mo., came to Southeast Missouri State University with big dreams of being the next Katie Couric or Diane Sawyer. She never thought that by age 25, she'd be married with a baby and living in Cape Girardeau. Keep up with Kristen's adventures as a first-time mom -- one who's still a girl trying to figure out how her own life fits together. Turns out, she's living a dream she never knew she had, and loving every minute of it. Kristen invites moms of all types to find her "Baby Steps" page on Facebook.