Five of Clubbs: In the mood for love

Dec. 18, 2012, was my 13th wedding anniversary. On Jan. 5, 2013, my husband and I had a date to celebrate it.

Considering we finally got to take the cruise to Cozumel we had dreamed of for our 10th anniversary when we had been married 11 1/2 years, we were OK with the two week delay.

On our first anniversary, there was a blizzard. We were snowed in to our little grad school apartment. I wanted to cry as I canceled our reservations for the romantic getaway we had planned a few towns over. Our anniversary was ruined, I thought.

I'm glad I have since realized that the date itself matters more than the day on the calendar. Our kids, jobs, other commitments -- and yes, even the weather -- might keep us from having a night out on our special day but it won't keep us from finding an open spot on the calendar to pencil in a date. Scheduling dates might not seem romantic, but your perception of romance changes the longer you are married. Sure, flowers and cards are nice, but doing the dishes or getting up with the kid who had a nightmare says "I love you" even more effectively.

While we do enjoy candlelight and fine dining, we're also completely happy (and our budget is even happier) if we get to sit next to each other on the big orange couch at Simply Swirled to savor half-price froyo night. You can't let perfect be the enemy of good when it comes to time alone as husband and wife.

So, as we approach the Hallmark-iest of all holidays, I'm not worried about whether or not Bob and I will adequately express our love on Feb. 14. We might exchange cards. We will probably have a heart-shaped pizza with the kids. There probably will not be flowers or balloons. There may be a little chocolate. But, there will definitely be a plan for our next date, our next chance to connect just the two of us, our next opportunity to have a conversation that consists of more than queries about household maintenance and childcare.

And that is why he will always be my Valentine.

Brooke Hildebrand Clubbs is a wife, mother and teacher.