Can you hear me now? Getting through to kids distracted by texting and social media

With the advent of the smartphone and social media, it would seem kids have found a whole new way to be rude. Rather than roll their eyes during one of dad's long stories at the dinner table, they silently check Facebook status updates on their phones. But, experts are finding that there are also whole new ways for kids to develop addictions and experience physical complications. And parents are discovering they need to respond.

Problem 1: Addiction or Compulsion?

The relationship between "addiction" and various compulsive or impulsive behaviors is a source of confusion. A recent article in the American Journal of Psychiatry uses the term Internet Use Disorder and states that this spectrum disorder consists of excessive use, withdrawal (feelings of anger, tension, and/or depression when the computer or phone is inaccessible), tolerance (including the need for more applications or more hours of use), and negative repercussions (arguments, fatigue, and social isolation).

Social worker James Lehman, in a recent article for the Empowering Parents website, gives an example of how texting can be addictive or feed a compulsion: "It's immediate gratification -- which kids love. When they text, our kids get a reward right away in the form of a response from their friends, and so it encourages them to do it again right away, and get another reward."

Problem 2: Texting Tendonitis

The DSM isn't the only manual getting new additions. The Journal of the American Osteopathic Association reports that an emerging disease is Tenosynovitis Caused By Texting. This overuse injury was previously associated with piano-playing or carrying a child for a long period of time. The same condition was referred to by The Chartered Society of Physiotherapists as "Repetitive Strain Injury in Young Thumbs." By any name, an epidemic of sore shoulders, wrists, elbows and thumbs is upon us.

Action Step 1: Be a role model

The best way to stop a texting or Internet addiction or compulsion is to prevent it from starting in the first place. Parents need to model digital discipline. My husband and I have made this one of our resolutions for 2013. If mom and dad can put down their phone, the odds are better than the kids will, too. Besides, kids cannot go out and buy their own iPhone. They have to be given their own or allowed to borrow their parents'. Thus, the parents can set limits.

Action Step 2: Set limits ... creatively.

Make rules about when texting or Internet access is allowed. For example, you might say phones are not allowed at the dinner table or that the family will be "screen free" from 6 to 7 p.m. A concept that is becoming popular, described on the blog Kempt, is to make a "cell phone stack" in the middle of the table. Everyone has to resist when they hear the phones buzz or chime. The first person to grab their phone buys everyone's dinner. A family might have a different consequence, like having that person miss out on dessert or pony up the cost of their meal out of their allowance.

Another strategy is to have kids earn phone or computer time by completing extra chores, reading or physical activity. For small children, phone access could be limited to specific times, like waiting at the doctor's office. Can you imagine kids actually enjoying that wait because it meant they finally got to play Angry Birds?

Action Step 3: Make technology your friend

Yes, there's an app for that. The Game Time Limit for Parents application enables parents to set a time limit on their iPad or iPhone so that after the allotted time, the children are locked out until the parent enters a password. Of course, as children get older, missed sleep and sore thumbs are not the only complications that excessive phone use can cause.

According to the Texting Awareness Foundation, those who send text messages while driving are 23 times more likely to experience a crash. Apps such as AT&T DriveMode and Text-STAR try to eliminate the need for impulse control by silencing your phone and sending pre-set replies to incoming texts that let people know you are driving. Drive Safe.ly doesn't block incoming messages, but instead reads them aloud to you. And, if you really want to get serious, there is Textecution, which according to their website, "kills texting functions while driving so your child lives." Designed for parents to install on their teenage driver's phone, it completely disables texting if the vehicle is moving more than 10 mph. If the user removes Textecution, it notifies the parent by text.