Baby Steps: What makes a mother?

What makes a mother? This is something I have pondered my whole life. As I've reached adulthood and had children of my own, I have realized a mother is not only someone who has given birth to you, but someone who loves you unconditionally. Someone who listens and gives advice. Someone who tells you you're wrong when you don't want to hear it.

I've had many mothers in my life. Of course I have a biological mother who raised me and loves me, but I've had many other amazing women in my life who have shaped the person I am today.

In junior high, I had a teacher who helped me discover who I was and what made me tick. She was like a mother to me by encouraging me and listening to me in a time when I was a moody preteen and wouldn't talk to my own mother. She encouraged me to try new things, such as (gasp!) sports and science. I wasn't very good at either, but she was there to encourage and help me find something else I might be good at. It was through her encouragement that I found my love of drama and writing.

In high school, my best friend's mom was like my second mom. My mom was there to tell me what to do; Jan was there to listen. She listened when I talked about college and the options I had. She listened when I had a crush on a boy and didn't know what to do. She listened every time I had a fight with my mom, but then reminded me my mom did what she did because she loved me. She packed me up and moved me more than 300 miles away to college when my mom couldn't get time off work, and she did it again the next year when I needed her in a pinch. Even though I haven't seen her in almost six years and we don't talk nearly as often as we should, I am confident that if I called her to my rescue, she would be there in a snap.

In college, I had Laurie. The first time I met Laurie, I was sitting in the back row of a church, alone, a first-time visitor to a place where I knew no one. She sat down next to me and grilled me on my background, who I was, where I was from and where I lived now. I'm pretty sure the only information she didn't ask for was my Social Security number! But in that interrogation, I felt welcome. From that moment on, I was her third child and she was my Cape momma. She let me wash my laundry at her house, she took me grocery shopping when I didn't have a car and she let me stay with her family on school breaks. She told me when I was wrong and loved me while she did it. The day she moved to Florida, I cried.

These amazing women are just a few who have shaped me. There are other women I don't even know by name, some I haven't spoken to in a decade, but all have helped me become the mother I am today, including my own mother.

This month, say thanks to the woman at church who mentors you, send a card to your old boss from your first job who still checks in on you, and call your grandmother, mom, aunt or friend and tell her you appreciate her. Remember, you don't have to wait until Mother's Day to express thanks to the strong women in your life. Live out Mother's Day every day and say thank you to those who have made a difference in your life.

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About Kristen

Kristen Pind, a native of small-town Gower, Missouri, never dreamed that by her 20s, she'd be married with two kids and living in Cape Girardeau. Kristen invites moms of all types to find her "Baby Steps" page on Facebook.