Baby Steps: The big 3-0 is looming

This week marks a huge milestone for me. I will no longer be referred to as a 20-something young adult, but as a 30-year-old who is supposed to have her life together.

Might I add that this is bull? I don't know who in the world decided 30 was the number you should have it all figured out, but as of today, I'm not ready to pass that test.

Sure, I've graduated from college, gotten married, bought a house and car and I have two kids. On the outside, I might look like I've got myself together, but on the inside, I'm seriously spazzing.

Some mornings I wake up and think, 'Yes! This is how it's supposed to be! I slept all night, uninterrupted, and I've got clean clothes! Life is good and things are going my way!'

And then I walk into the kitchen and see the dogs have peed on the floor, Felicity refuses to wear any shoes that aren't her hot pink jellies that she outgrew in June, Cooper wet the bed and is refusing to wear pants to school, my face broke out from the stress and I haven't had an adult conversation in too many weeks to count. Days like that make me feel like I don't have my stuff together and I never will.

If you had asked me 10 years ago where I would be at 30, "married with two kids in Cape Girardeau" would not have been my answer.

I would have said I'd be in New York writing for the Times or in Chicago writing for the Tribune. I could have imagined myself in a behind-the-scenes position on a talk show or news program. I never thought 30 would bring me here, married with two kids and a minivan down by the river.

Honestly, this would have been my nightmare. In my 20-year-old eyes, it would have seemed like I had given up instead of accomplishing anything, when in fact, I have accomplished something huge. I've managed to put myself through college, and I've managed to find a job that pays the bills and gives me time for my family. I've managed to marry an amazing man who is an amazing father, and I have brought two new people into this world. Twenty-year-old me might think that's no big thing, but 30-year-old me knows how hard it really was, and how far I have come.

Thirty is "the age" you are supposed to have your life together, but I'm not ready for that. I hope that when I am 40, 50 and 60, I'm still trying to figure out who I want to be when I grow up. I hope I am continuously changing and evolving. I hope I learn new things even when I'm 80.

I hope I still have time to get my "stuff" together, and that 30 isn't the end. I've got some things figured out, but I'm still growing as a person, and I'm a long way from getting it all figured out. I hope when I'm having my midlife crisis at 40, I can look back and see how put together or not I was at 30, and either laugh or learn from it.

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Kristen Pind, a native of small-town Gower, Mo., came to Southeast Missouri State University with big dreams of being the next Katie Couric or Diane Sawyer. She never thought that in her 20s, she'd be married with two kids and living in Cape Girardeau. Keep up with Kristen's adventures as a young mom who's still trying to figure out how her own life fits together. Turns out, she's living a dream she never knew she had, and loving every minute of it. Kristen invites moms of all types to find her "Baby Steps" page on Facebook.