Baby Steps

I know that sleep deprivation is part of being a mommy. It is like an initiation before you can actually join the club. My problem is that I thought that initiation only lasted 12 months tops, usually less. Here we are at 13 months and I am still so sleep-deprived that I sometimes find myself falling asleep with my eyes open.

Long story short, I feel like a zombie looks. On the outside I look OK, minus some slight dark circles under my eyes. But on the inside, I'm limping down this road called life with body parts barely hanging on and drool rolling out of my mouth as I mutter, "Ahhhhh, need sleep!"

I know what you are going to tell me: This too shall pass, he will grow out of it, it is just a stage, he is having a growth spurt, and any number of other things that I have heard this past month. I am sure that you have a multitude of advice and "been there, done that" stories to tell, just like all of my friends and family do. The problem is that I am sick of hearing it. I don't want ideas or "This is how I did it" stories anymore. I want results!

Play music softly in the background for a little noise, you say? Been there, done that -- didn't work. The kid would wake up every time from the noise. Wrap something that smells like me around a toy or pillow, you say? Well, I hate to break it to you, but that didn't work, either. He just threw it out of the bed like all of the other pillows, blankets and toys he has to sleep with. Let him cry it out? Well, I am happy to report that this was the best plan so far -- but I can't sleep when he is crying, and stubborn as he is, he would sometimes cry for more than an hour and a half. That means I was up for that hour and half, too, while my husband blissfully snored away beside me.

Out of ideas? Well, me too. For now we are just getting up at 3 a.m. every day and rocking for a bit. Then we go back to sleep for awhile, he gets up again at 5 a.m., and I let him in bed with me. This might be a great plan, except for the fact that my husband and my kid kick and snore and take up our whole queen-size bed. I wake up feeling like I just got back from war!

I know that the sentimental ones out there will tell me to enjoy this time, because before long he won't want to cuddle with me, let alone speak to me. But those sentimental ones are getting the sleep that I am missing out on! Cranky? Yes, I am, and I won't deny it. Tune it next time to see if the Sandman has finally found my house.

Kristen Pind, a native of small-town Gower, Mo., came to Southeast Missouri State University with big dreams of being the next Katie Couric or Diane Sawyer. She never thought that at age 25, she'd be married with a baby and living in Cape Girardeau. Keep up with Kristen's adventures as a first-time mom -- one who's still a girl trying to figure out how her own life fits together. Turns out, she's living a dream she never knew she had, and loving every minute of it.