Satire: Martha's business ideas

At B Magazine, we're all about providing value-added, non-coastal, business-oriented content.

Below you will find a selection of quality business ideas handpicked from the recesses of Martha's brain during recent stints in the shower. With the right financial backing, smart leadership and a little luck, any of these concepts could find success in Southeast Missouri.

So get cracking! These concepts are offered royalty-free and warranty-free on a first-come, first-served basis. That's the kind of value-added filler material ... er, business-oriented content that we're happy to share.

(If you do make untold riches by converting one of these ideas into the next unicorn start-up company, then please don't forget about your old pal, Martha Throebeck.)

I-Said-Good-Day.com: Witty comebacks as a service

We've all been there: you've just been insulted by some troll on Facebook, but you don't have a good response. With I-Said-Good-Day.com, an artificial intelligence platform would quickly examine your situation and generate a witty comeback that maximizes the chance of humiliating the troll once and for all.

MatriMoney: Wedding sharing

Uber invented the concept of ride sharing by creating an app that delivers taxi services without actually owning a fleet of taxis. What if the same mindset could be applied to your Big Day? With the MatriMoney app, engaged couples could connect with other couples to share wedding resources at a fraction of the cost: reception halls, officiants, flower decorations, sound systems, photographers and so on.

Knife-B-Gone: Restaurant offering the ultimate in convenience

Ride sharing services are expanding to offer food delivery, which presents a great business opportunity: a restaurant that pre-cuts the food into bite-sized portions for fast delivery to the customer's stomach without requiring any utensils. Why waste precious seconds cutting your food with a knife when a professional cook can do it for you?

Babyball: Athletic scouting for babies

Professional sports have been scouting younger and younger players, so why not go all the way to the beginning? With the Babyball idea, even the youngest children would be evaluated for potential athletic ability using advanced analytical tools inspired by "Moneyball." For example, it might be found that projectile vomiting ability correlates strongly with future fastball velocity. In short, babies are the new market inefficiency.

Metagent: App for finding a literary agent agent

These days, finding a mainstream publisher for a book is almost impossible without the aid of a literary agent. But what if these agents won't give you the time of day? That's when you need to hire an agent to help find an agent. But even that is proving difficult, which is the motivation behind Metagent: an app that serves as an agent to connect you with an agent who will connect you with an agent who will connect you with a publisher.

Vacation From Home: Experience an exotic vacation without the hassle

Sure, everybody wants to take a fantastic overseas vacation, but not everybody has the time and money to make it happen. With Vacation From Home, a surrogate guide will go in your place and stream everything they experience via first-person body cams. You can tune in to see the highlights of the trip while skipping the unpleasant parts like waiting in line at customs, trying to figure out the tipping rules or getting pick-pocketed.