Toothless Tigers - Detroit turns out its latest lemon

DETROIT -- The 0-11 Detroit Tigers, off to the fifth-worst start in baseball history, aren't just drawing the ire of local fans. They're also becoming the butt of Jay Leno's jokes.

Months after ridiculing the Detroit Lions for their 0-12 start, Leno has gotten some laughs at the Tigers' expense on "The Tonight Show."

"Kmart announced today that they will no longer sponsor signs at the stadium where the Detroit Tigers play," Leno said in a recent monologue. "Oh man, how embarrassing is that -- Kmart thinks you're a loser!"

It's difficult for a baseball team to grab national attention in the first two weeks of the season -- for any reason -- but the Tigers have done it by being in select company that they want no part of.

Only four major league teams since 1900, according to the Elias Sports Bureau, have started worse: the 1920 Tigers and the 1904 Washington Senators started 0-13, the 1997 Chicago Cubs lost their first 14 games, and the 1988 Baltimore Orioles set the record with an 0-21 start.

In that season, the Orioles fired Cal Ripken Sr. after just six games, which was the quickest dismissal of a manager since 1900. This year, the Tigers matched that mark by firing manager Phil Garner after Detroit's 0-6 start.

Now, after five more games, manager Luis Pujols has the same number of wins that Garner earned this season: zero.

"I take no consolation in that," Garner said in a phone interview Monday from his home in Texas. "I'm more saddened and disappointed than anything else. I feel for them."

The Tigers have wide-ranging problems, off and on the field.

Off it, their fans are either apathetic or angry.

Since the home opener, when a record crowd of 41,248 braved a blustery, snowy day and booed Garner in pregame introductions -- empty seats have far outnumbered occupied ones, and sarcastic cheers have outnumbered genuine ones.

On a mild night last week against the Chicago White Sox, there were just 11,833 tickets sold for the game -- and even fewer fans showed up -- making it the smallest crowd in the two-plus seasons since the Tigers moved to Comerica Park.

On the field, pick any facet of the game -- pitching, hitting, defense -- and the Tigers have struggled with it while being outscored 79-32 and dropping more than 10 games behind the Central Division-leading Cleveland Indians.

Detroit's starting pitchers have given up more hits than the number of innings they've pitched, and the bullpen has allowed at least one run in 10 of 11 games. The entire staff is allowing opponents to bat .305.

The Tigers are hitting .251 overall, and just .177 with runners in scoring position. They have committed 10 errors and have made countless other mistakes in the field -- such as poor relay throws -- that don't show up in the box score.

"We're not good enough to make mistakes and come out on top," outfielder Bobby Higginson said.

Pitcher Jeff Weaver was one of about 15 players who showed up Monday for an optional workout at Comerica Park.

Like the others in the clubhouse, Weaver was somber and tired of answering questions about the Tigers' awful start.

"There's no easy explanation for what's going wrong," Weaver said after a sigh. "One day, it's our pitching, the next day it's our defense, then the next day it's our offense -- and sometimes it's all of those things.

"It's as unbelievable to us as it is to everybody else. It might be as difficult to lose your first 11 games as it is to win your first 11. We feel just as bad as anyone does about this, but we're here, and we have to do something about it."

Until then, the Tigers will continue to provide fodder for Leno's writers -- even if they're not listening to the punch lines.

"I don't care what Jay Leno has to say," outfielder Wendell Magee said. "I don't even watch him, because David Letterman is better."