Sideline chatter 8/13/03

Bet boy becomes bat boy

Dan Mason, the general manager of the minor-league Rochester (N.Y.) Red Wings, could probably stand to go for a while without hearing "Wanna bet?" Last season, Mason had to sleep five nights in the team's bullpen after vowing to do so until the Wings ended a losing skid that reached a club-record 12 games.

This time, Mason will have to serve as batboy for the rival Ottawa Lynx on Aug. 19 after losing a bet to Kyle Bostwick, his Ottawa counterpart, that the Red Wings would win their season series.

"Every little kid dreams of wearing a pro baseball uniform and taking the field for a game," Mason told Canadian Press. "This is not what I had in mind."

Good eye, ump

Max McLeary, 55, lost his right eye in an accident during the 1970s, but that hasn't kept him from umpiring in the independent Frontier League for the past nine years.

"Here's a trivia question," McLeary told The New York Times. "What has three eyes and umpires? Answer: Me and any partner I'm working with."

Just call him Inspector

Former Washington cornerback Nigel Burton, now the defensive-backs coach at Oregon State, obviously found time during his Huskies film-study days to slip in some cartoon work.

Said Burton to The Oregonian, sizing up Brandon Browner, the Beavers' 6-foot-4 redshirt freshman corner: "He's always getting knockdowns because he's so long. He's running around, the quarterback thinks he has something, and he throws it.

"And the guy, just out of nowhere, he throws out that 'Go-Go Gadget' deal."

Danger: hard-hat area

Completion of a long-anticipated swimming pool in Ebensburg, Pa., was delayed, The Associated Press reported, when the Cambria-Somerset Council of Governments decreed that the project lacked the proper building permits and approved fencing.

So, until that red tape is remedied, Cindy Lenz was told, don't even think about inflating your children's 18-inch-deep, $49 deluxe Wal-Mart model.

Worth repeating

Mariners first baseman John Olerud, to Newsday, after teammate Bret Boone was stung by a bee at Yankee Stadium on Sunday: "You need thick skin to play in New York."

NBC's Jay Leno, on Mike Tyson filing for bankruptcy: "This is the first time Mike Tyson got up to Chapter 11 in anything."

No Tour de Stamps

Lance Armstrong's picture on a roll of his sponsor's stamps certainly sounds like a natural, but word has it that the Lance stamps just can't make it past the U.S. Postal Service taste test.

Turns out you just can't lick 'em.

-- Dwight Perry,

Seattle Times