Stories from Thursday, July 4, 2002

Reviewed by Justin Colburn and Keayn Dunya Another world. Another time. 1000 years ago the Crystal of Truth cracked, giving birth to two new creatures: the cruel Skeksis and the gentle Mystics. The Skeksis took control of the land from their new home in the Castle of the Dark Crystal, while the Mystics made their home in the mountain valley far away. ...

CHRISTCHURCH, New Zealand - For the sake of your family's health, beware your teenager's stinky feet. That's the word from researchers here - and at America's famed Mayo Clinic - who proved in concurrent studies that foot odor is not just repulsive, it's dangerous...

By Jeff Smith Reviewed by Justin Colburn and Keayn Dunya Phoncible P. Bone, the richest Bone in Boneville, was just run out of town for the third time. With the aid of his cousins, Fone Bone and Smiley Bone, he sets out from Boneville to escape the lynch mob pursuing him. ...

Reviewed by Justin Colburn & Keayn Dunya Based on a Phillip K. Dick short story, Minority Report is about a experiment in the future in which precognition, future-seeing, is used to stop murder. Detective John Anderton (Tom Cruise, Vanilla Sky) is the head of the PreCrime Unit. ...

"All these people whose destiny is mass produced are haunted by dreams of escape." -- Simone de Beauvoir Because you see folks, as a great philosopher once elucidated, there's no point in getting upset by all this cloning nonsense when most of us are still utterly flabbergasted by the fact that we possess the technology to actually be able to Xerox our own asses and have the choice of being able to fax it to the nearest unsuspecting Kinko's employee - or to scan in said Xerox and e-mail it to the entire bloody world, further contributing to the Sisyphean mound of decadence that has sped up the declination of Western civilisation and got it tunneling towards its own demise quicker than we can reach for the fifth of Johnny Walker Black and the Sam's-sized 10-gallon bucket of Quaaludes at the thought of a just and benevolent god actually allowing Kevin Costner to direct another movie. ...