The Best Books Club: "Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff"

You’ve probably seen the meme showing a beaming parent standing in front of an open garage filled to the brim with stuff, exclaiming to his or her obviously-dismayed offspring, “Just think — someday all of this will be yours!” Some prime-timers chuckle ruefully, thinking of the Herculean task they have already faced with their own parents; others become concerned about what is awaiting them.

Even I, a quasi-minimalist, am concerned at the amount of stuff I’ve amassed. I appease that unease by reminding myself I have a very good — selfless, even — reason for keeping things I don’t use regularly. As the preserver — albeit a self appointed one — of the memories of the loved ones to whom the items once belonged or who are captured in countless photos, I see these items as a way of passing along the legacy of my beloved husband, parents, in-laws and other ancestors who are no longer alive.

As a result, when I saw “Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff” by Matt Paxton (2022) at the Cape Girardeau Public Library, I was intrigued and checked it out.

Simplifying, decluttering, downsizing: Call it what you will, I’ve read more than a few books on the topic throughout the years. Hands down, Paxton’s book is the very best I have found on this topic. It is not only extremely useful for the person who wants or needs to downsize; it is also an amazing resource for those who care about that individual. And that is because of the foundation upon which “Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff” is built.

If you get nothing else from reading this column, I hope you recognize, understand the importance of and embrace that core belief, which is stated in step one and woven throughout the remaining eight steps.

Simply put, Paxton urges readers — downsizers and their assistants, including family members, friends, paid professionals, etc. — to first uncover and honor the stories behind the stuff that has been accumulated.

As Paxton explains, it is only when we acknowledge an object’s or group of objects’ stories that we can understand its intrinsic value — or lack thereof — and elect to either keep or get rid of it by giving it away, donating it, or selling it, and be at peace with the choice we’ve made. Paxton not only states that doing so is key, he explains the process in clear, easy-to-follow guidelines accompanied by real-life examples.

Over the past 14 years, I’ve sporadically downsized. With the new year and yet another move to a new home, I felt compelled to do one final, big purge. Unfortunately, though, I couldn’t seem to move past that general goal or my equally-general deadline of “sometime fairly soon.”

After reading “Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff,” I had the blueprint for getting the job done. I bought my own copy of the book and budgeted time every week to go through every bin, box, drawer, closet and cabinet, following the process Paxton outlines. I am off to a great start.

Whether you’re the offspring or the beaming parent in the social media meme standing in front of the filled-to-the-rafters garage, check out “Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff” — and buy a copy for your parents or your own helper.

And then, enjoy the process of honoring the past as you look to the future.

Some questions we’ll discuss on our Facebook Live in The Best Books Group on The Best Years Facebook page Monday, May 6, at 4 p.m. include:

1. What “reasons” do you give for failing to declutter when, at the same time, we claim we really want to get the job done?

2. According to Paxton, what is the true reason people can’t let go of stuff?

3. What category of “stuff” do you own that most needs to be downsized?

4. Did the book inspire you to “declutter, downsize and move forward” with your life?

5. How do you feel during the decluttering process? How do you feel afterward?

__Coming Up__

Our next The Best Books Club selection is a delightful and uplifting book that will invite you to view the world around you in a different way. “The Book of Awesome” by Neil Pasricha is available at the Cape Public Library and through booksellers; it is available as a hardcopy and as an ebook and audiobook.

Patti Miinch, a resident of Cape Girardeau, is an author, mother and mother-in-law of two, grandmother of five and retired educator; while she has many loves, spending time with her family, sports, travel and reading top the list.