Senior Moments Column: Countdown to Adulthood

“5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1 … Happy New Year!”

I remember hearing this exact phrase on Jan. 1, 2020. This was during the middle of eighth grade, and I remember thinking how that year was going to be my year. I was going to be starting high school in a few months, and I was surrounded with people I loved.

Little did I or anyone else know that 2020 was not just the year of new me. It was the year of new everything, as the whole world shut down.

My whole life shut down during that year, as well. I had just gotten out of a state of depression before starting high school, which was a pale comparison to what the movies made high school out to be. On top of that, I lost the person I loved most in the world, my grandmother. She died a few weeks before my birthday, and I have to say, it was the bleakest birthday I ever had. I remember trying very hard to get through the year. Everyone did, but it felt like I was suffering alone.

Then, New Year's Eve rolled around again. I grew weary of the holiday, as my prediction from the year prior did not go so well. I have continued to feel this way up until this very day. Many people love to gather on New Year’s Day, but for me, it can be a bit hard. Especially now that I am entering a new season in my life and need all of the help I can get.

This new year coming up, 2024, will be a big one. This is the year I go off to college. The year I get to vote for the first time. The year I will finally be independent, even though months before, I ran to my parents any time I needed to fill out a document. A lot will change for me this year, and for my family, as well.

I do not wish for that to make this year sour, though. This year marks so much to be joyful for. My sister will start her senior year of high school, my parents will get more time for themselves and I will finally be able to find myself. I have no idea what is in store for us, and while I will never claim to see the future, I think this will be a good year.

It will be a year that will allow healing and growth. It will be a year to step aside and find myself when I get lost in the crowd. It will be the year to finally explore those things I thought were never worth trying.

This year will be like no other that me and my family has ever experienced. I guess you could say that about every year, though, as each one brings its own set of challenges. While I may not look forward to the upcoming change, I know it is coming, and there is no way to stop it. I just have to trust God has got me and my family, and watch as the timer slowly reaches zero and my new life finally begins.

Lilly Johnson is a senior at Charleston High School in Charleston, Mo. She has lived in Southeast Missouri most of her life and loves to travel with her youth group, jam to musicals and BTS, and paint during the late hours of the night.