Go for the goal: If you have a goal to meet before your wedding, follow these tips for success

Do you have a goal for your wedding (besides, you know, getting married)?

Many couples aim to get in shape, reduce debt, even quit smoking before they start their new lives together.

Sure, it may be a lot to take on in addition to planning the wedding, but life coach Becky Towe says it's possible when you have a clear plan and work in small steps.

"When you have a plan for a goal, then you are prepared and without chaos," says Towe, a certified personal trainer and life coach with The Anatomy Studio in Cape Girardeau. "Failure to plan causes chaos and sets you up for failure at completing your goal."

Whatever your goal, follow these tips for success before the big day:

* Make sure it's a reasonable and specific goal. "People often conceive spectacular goals, but the goals never get off the ground due to lack of planning or implementation issues -- or if they do, the first roadblock or obstacle occurs and they get dropped like a hot potato," says Shannon Anderson, a licensed professional counselor and clinical director of Heartland Counseling in Cape Girardeau. "By choosing a specific goal and then writing it down, the chances of success are far greater."

* Set a beginning and ending date for your plan, and work in baby steps. "This allows you to make dates of reaching the little goals that will ultimately help you accomplish reaching the big goal," Towe explains. "For example, if your goal is losing 48 pounds in six months, then break that up! Plan for two pounds a week for a total of eight pounds per month."

* Plan for long-term success. A goal is not just about the end result -- you have to learn and practice good habits to maintain the goal. Losing weight means learning healthy eating habits that will help you not only lose weight, but stay healthy for life. Getting out of debt means you need to pay off your credit cards or loans, but also change your spending and saving habits so you don't incur more debt after meeting your goal. It's great to have guidance here, says Towe -- look for a personal trainer, financial adviser, counselor or other professional who can help in your short- and long-term planning.

* Give yourself enough time, says Anderson. You can't decide two months before the wedding that you're going to lose 40 pounds, but you might be able to make it in a year.

"Remember to be forgiving of yourself," adds Towe. "Learning new behaviors and keeping them takes time. It does not just happen overnight."

* Team up with your sweetie. "Working toward the goals together would be a great way for couples to show a commitment to each other and build accountability," says Anderson. "The support of a committed partner can make it easier for you to continue when the going gets tough. This also helps to set the tone of the relationship that you will both support each other and work together to achieve goals in the future."

* Don't become so wrapped up in this goal that you forget about the big one: your wedding and marriage.

"I always tell the couples that I work with to remember that even though the wedding day is a big day, ultimately it's the start to a unity between two people," says Towe. "Staying focused on that is the key: making sure that the same reason you said 'I will marry you' is still the focus of saying 'I do.' Don't lose that focus in planning your wedding. Remember to make the decisions together."

* If you don't make it this time, don't be too hard on yourself. Dwelling only keeps you from moving forward, enjoying the wedding and pursuing your goal in the future.

"You will never get to your goal looking backward," says Towe. "Always staying in the present and looking forward is the key to any success."

And remember those good habits you learned earlier in the process? Keep up with them, and you won't be starting from square one when you pick up your goal again.

"Start each day anew," says Towe. "What makes a good behavior a lifelong healthy behavior is time. You can use this for many behaviors that you want to change, such as financial, smoking, going back to school or career goals. It works for whatever you want to change to a positive, healthier behavior."