Be covert in getting Seinfeld tickets

Tonight (if you read this on Thursday), the great comedian of our time (yada yada yada), Jerry Seinfeld is playing two shows at the Carson Center in Paducah, Ky.

Of course, as a devoted Seinfeld fan (favorite episode, the Keith Hernandez Zapruder-film spitting incident), I was waiting when tickets went on sale.

I wore out the "refresh" icon on my browser, if one can actually wear out digital images that are part of software programs. You know, you huddle at the computer at the appointed time for ticket sales to start, clicking over and over until you get that magical screen that asks for your credit-card number.

I got my tickets for the 7 p.m. show, but I was lucky. Apparently the two shows sold out in mere minutes. Two shows, 1,800 seats apiece. What do you expect with Seinfeld?

So say you want tickets to tonight's shows. If you were in Missouri, you might say no problem. Thanks to a recent change in the law, the wonderful enterprise of ticket scalping is now legal in the Show Me State. Those entrepreneurs can do their business without having to worry about Big Brother cracking down.

Not so in Kentucky. Right on the home page of the Carson Center Web site (where Seinfeld performs tonight) there's a warning in large, red capitals: "TICKET SCALPING IS ILLEGAL IN KENTUCKY."

I think you get what amounts to a traffic ticket if you get caught.

Unlike its more progressive neighbor Missouri, Kentucky still wants to limit market forces when it comes to concerts, thereby possibly locking out you, the fan, if you weren't able to get tickets when the venue or promoter was selling them. Supply and demand would dictate if you've got the cash to meet the asking price, you get the ticket.

But if you go to Paducah tonight, wallet full of cash, intent on buying a scalped Seinfeld ticket, you might get a different kind of ticket instead.

Sure, scalping has this dirty sort of feel about it.

But what entertainment buff hasn't bought a scalped ticket? I have. And I'm not sure what the law was in Georgia at the time.

In Missouri, I won't have to worry about the law again. Go, free enterprise!