Babysitter blues

As a mom, I know that the safety and well-being of a child is any parent's No. 1 priority. You want to keep your child safe from anything that can harm him emotionally or physically. That's why I was so excited to not have to put my baby in day care. As someone with almost 10 years of day care experience and three different day cares under my belt, I can tell you that not all places are what they seem.

It was a great joy to go to work knowing my child was well taken care of by Great-grandma and Grandma. Of course, I didn't bank on the fact that Cooper would get older and need socialization and educational skills that Grandma can't always provide. You would think I'd have thought of that in all my years of experience!

So I did some research and met a wonderful lady who has a nice in-home day care and doesn't charge an arm and a leg to watch my spirited child. Today was Cooper's first day, and it was harder on me than him.

I dropped him off about 7:45 a.m. and there were two other little girls there. He went right on in and sat down and started playing. I stood in the doorway for a little bit, waiting for him to come running to me and begging me not to go, but it didn't happen. So I slowly left, hoping not to disturb him, thinking he would cry in a minute when he realized I was gone.

I called the sitter a little after breakfast just to see how he was handling it. Of course my rotten child didn't even know I was gone! She said that he turned to look for me about 10 minutes after I left and just kind of shrugged and went on his way. He played all day with no problems. Naptime was even a cinch for the sitter, and I still struggle with that.

At 15 months old, my child no longer needs me, and I just don't know how to deal with that. I know he needs me sometimes, but he is already so independent and not even 2! I thought I had at least 10 years to worry about no longer being needed, but just like everything else he does, he has sped past the age-appropriate development stages and fast-forwarded to a preteen.

I spent the day being a bit melancholy and annoying the sitter every couple of hours. If this is how I am with him going to the sitter, I am not looking forward to preschool. I know that it is good for him and I'm sure that it is good for me, too -- but here I go being selfish again, wishing he was that tiny little thing we brought home from the hospital and who still needed me for everything.

The good news is, now that Cooper has interaction with other children, I am sure I will have an endless supply of stories to tell my readers.

Kristen Pind, a native of small-town Gower, Mo., came to Southeast Missouri State University with big dreams of being the next Katie Couric or Diane Sawyer. She never thought that by age 25, she'd be married with a baby and living in Cape Girardeau. Keep up with Kristen's adventures as a first-time mom -- one who's still a girl trying to figure out how her own life fits together. Turns out, she's living a dream she never knew she had, and loving every minute of it. Kristen invites moms of all types to find her "Baby Steps" page on Facebook.