Baby Steps: What's in a (nick)name?

When Max and I got pregnant with Cooper, I was certain that "he" was a "she." I used the female pronouns when talking to him and about him, and even spent a small fortune on baby girl clothing because I just knew he was a girl. Imagine my surprise at finding out I was incorrect!

I bounced back -- I started using "he" instead of "she" and exchanged all the girl clothes for handsome boy clothing. He even earned the nickname "punk" instead of "princess," but a little part of me still knew one day I would get that pretty princess.

The day we found out Felicity was in fact Felicity and not Coleman, I could not get the smile off my face! I told everyone I knew (and everyone I didn't) that our little princess was going to be here in February. We were all elated! Max couldn't stop thinking about daddy's little girl, and Cooper was thrilled Felicity was a girl because he said it meant he didn't have to share his toys.

That feeling hasn't changed for any of us. We love the glitter, sparkles, pink and tutus. Cooper tells Felicity all the time she is beautiful and pretty, and the baby princess. Max calls her daddy's princess, and I call her princess, too.

It never crossed my mind that I was hurting my daughter by calling her a princess. In my mind it was an honor, a showing of our love and devotion to her. To the snippety 20-something receptionist at the doctor's office, though, I was "demoralizing" my daughter by using an out-of-date nickname.

I will be the first to tell you that I am not your "normal" mommy. We parent "outside the box" in many ways, and I want my daughter to know she is just as amazing and important as her brother or any other boy. But that doesn't mean I can't also call my daughter a princess.

Apparently, "princess" is being replaced with words like "leader," "intelligent," "kind" and "loyal." I agree with all of those words, too. Every little girl should hear she is intelligent and kind as well as beautiful or, in our case, a princess.

My issue is, why can't a little girl be a princess and kind? Why do we have to choose? There is no rule that says you must be a princess and beautiful, but you can't be a princess and intelligent.

I am a firm believer that kids will grow up being who they are by how their parents raise them, not by the nickname they're given as infants. My daughter is a princess. I've baby-sat many a little princess and have known even more. They have all turned out no worse for the wear by being called "princess" over "loyal" or "leader."

I'm going to continue to call my 9-month-old a princess for now, and when she gets older, if she decides she isn't one, I'll ask her what she wants me to call her. Maybe she will be a beautiful, loyal, kind, intelligent princess, or maybe she will be a monkey -- really, it is her choice, and my job as a parent is to encourage her to make her own choices.

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Kristen Pind, a native of small-town Gower, Mo., came to Southeast Missouri State University with big dreams of being the next Katie Couric or Diane Sawyer. She never thought that in her 20s, she'd be married with two kids and living in Cape Girardeau. Keep up with Kristen's adventures as a young mom who's still trying to figure out how her own life fits together. Turns out, she's living a dream she never knew she had, and loving every minute of it. Kristen invites moms of all types to find her "Baby Steps" page on Facebook.