Baby Steps: Parenting a spirited child - with help from an author in Michigan

Well, I've done it. I've done something I said I would never do. Something I scoffed at other parents for doing.

I've read a self-help parenting book, and guess what? It actually helped!

I used to smirk and silently judge other parents when they told me they were reading a new book on how to get their child potty-trained or to sleep through the night. 'Those things don't work,' I would think. 'Why are you wasting your time?'

And then I had a kid of my own. A unique, bright, energetic child. A child who didn't sleep, who took ages to get potty-trained and who just wouldn't listen.

In the early years, we suffered through it. He eventually started sleeping -- it turned out he just couldn't get comfortable in his crib or toddler bed because he moved too much. He eventually got potty-trained, and he eventually started eating more than chicken nuggets and peanut butter.

It wasn't until Felicity came along and the temper tantrums and blow-ups we had become accustomed to from Cooper became more frequent, louder and more public. After an extremely loud and long tantrum at school, his preschool teacher recommended we talk to his pediatrician, who n told us he was the spitting image of health and that "boys will be boys."

It wasn't until my frustration built up and I locked myself in the bathroom to cry that I did what I never do: I Google searched.

Usually Google is the devil when it comes to parenting. Depending on what your search criteria is, you may end up believing your child is dying or possessed, and at this point in motherhood, I wouldn't have been surprised if either was true.

What I found when I Googled "children + tantrums + energy" was a whole load of crap and one bright spot. Amazon suggested a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent and Energetic" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.

I looked up the author and title at the library and checked out the book the next day. It took four weeks to read about my child, and it was like looking into Cooper's inner workings. This lady knew what I was going through. She knew about the tantrums if his food was touching or not in the correct order. She knew he refused certain clothes because they just weren't right or were itchy. She knew about his sleeping and eating habits, his personality, everything. It was right there in those pages!

After the first three chapters, I just sat on the couch in tears. My husband asked if everything was OK, so I told him about the book and how amazing it was to read about other parents having the same issues we were having. I explained that the book said there was nothing wrong with our kid; he just feels and expresses himself differently. Then something really magical happened: My husband went out and bought this book to read himself! That is how desperate we were!

This book seriously changed our family for the better, and that was not a thing I thought some author in Michigan could do. Never again will I silently judge others when they tell me they are reading a self-help book. I was in denial 10 years ago, and now I'm not.

If you would like to know more, or if you have questions about your own spirited child, please ask or read up on the subject. Just don't Google it -- you might discover that your child has some rare African disease and is possessed by a yellow-eyed monster!

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Kristen Pind, a native of small-town Gower, Missouri, came to Southeast Missouri State University with big dreams of being the next Katie Couric or Diane Sawyer. She never thought that in her 20s, she'd be married with two kids and living in Cape Girardeau. Keep up with Kristen's adventures as a young mom who's still trying to figure out how her own life fits together. Turns out, she's living a dream she never knew she had, and loving every minute of it. Kristen invites moms of all types to find her "Baby Steps" page on Facebook.