"Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem": A take from Uncle Joe

Note: Steve Turner took a well deserved vacation last week and was unable to get to a theater. So as not to leave you in the lurch, he

asked his Uncle Joe to write the review this week for "Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem."

First of all, let me say that I've seen all the "Alien" movies. And let me also say I've never seen a "Predator" movie. Maybe I'm biased,

but come on, no one -- or thing -- is going to kick an Alien's butt.

And didn't Arnold Schwarzenegger kick the Predator's butt in the first Predator movie? I don't know, I'm asking. Like I said, never seen 'em.

I'm just assuming because Arnold ain't going to get whacked in his own movie. That just doesn't happen in an Arnold movie. So, as I'm saying, Arnold, the human, was at least a match with the obviously wimpybutt Predator.

And anyway, if that hot number Sigourney Weaver (you saw "Galaxy Quest," right?) can get in that big robot suit and STILL not get the

job done, there's no stopping them. Aliens are -- to spell it out for you -- superior in all ways.

Now for this movie here, this requiem thing. THE TITLE IS MISLEADING!

Anybody with a brain can see that the Aliens are unarmed while the Predator is armed to the teeth. What kind of fight is that? With all

that weaponry I could even take out an Alien. The whole thing kind of got my goat. In fact, that's what it was like -- "Uncle Joe vs. the

Goat." With me and my side arms and a sawed-off shotgun against a ornery goat. The only cool thing about such a movie would be the exploding goats.

All this is not to say the movie sucks. There's lots of Aliens -- which is cool. And the Predator did look kind of cool -- though I couldn't

figure out why he/she would have dreadlocks. And what was up with the fingernails? Ever see Dolly Parton play the guitar? Just clip 'em,

baby!

Anyway, there's lots of blood, lots of unattached body parts, lots of exploding human heads, lots of innards spilling about and lots and

lots of innocent townsfolk getting dismembered in all manner of ways. But thankfully (I brought my grandson along) we are spared any exposed breasts or more than a couple cuss words.

Over all it was good stuff, as Steve would say.

(Steve Turner actually did write this review, posing as his alter-ego, Uncle Joe).