Age Spots: The 'grandest' of families

Recently my middle son started his freshman year of high school. This moment arrived much sooner than I was ready for. All freshmen are expected to attend an orientation, as are their guardians. As I was walking from class to class, learning the daily schedule of a ninth-grader and talking with the other adults, I noticed something that surprised me. Many of those eating lunch and going through orientation were grandparents, not parents. I decided then to do a little research.

According to AARP, almost 2.5 million children in the United States are living in homes where grandparents are the primary caregivers — we will call these grandfamilies. This arrangement allows the children to have a family connection that can enrich the life of the child and the grandparent. The children get to live with family members who love and nurture them and provide guidance. The grandparent gets the opportunity to provide security to the grandchildren and keep the family together. They also get to develop a closer relationship with their grandchildren.

There are many struggles these grandfamilies face. A simple thing such as a doctor’s appointment could be challenging if the proper paperwork is not done. Financially, there could be struggles as grandparents on a fixed income now have to raise another generation, many times unexpectedly. Even more concerning is that the world has changed since grandparents raised their own children. Electronic devices, the internet, drugs and general safety have changed and are continuing to change. Grandparents need help keeping up with all these changes.

Sometimes grandfamilies need to know they are not alone; others are in the same situation. Zoia Martin, a grandparent who has taken care of several of her grandchildren throughout the years, stated, “Grandchildren have a hard time; they have periods where they miss their parents so much, and that is the hardest part.” She advises keeping the parent connection if possible. Remind them there is love.

To help address grandparenting issues, Aging Matters invites all grandfamilies in the area to participate in some free upcoming conferences. On Tuesday, Oct. 4, there will be a Grandfamily Conference at St. Andrew Lutheran Church in Cape Girardeau. And on Thursday, Oct. 20, at St. James Outreach Center in Hayti, Missouri, is Caregiver/Grandfamily Care Day. These conferences will offer information on legal issues, support services and offer grandparents the chance to become familiar with those who can answer questions.

When asked the best part of raising her grandchildren, Martin did not hesitate to say, “The kids say and do things that let you know they appreciate you.” We all should appreciate these amazing caregivers who are making a difference in the lives of these children. For more information or to register for the conferences, please call the Family Caregiver Program at Aging Matters: (800) 392-8771.

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About Jackie

Jackie Dover is public information director at Aging Matters.