YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO QUOTE THEIR OWN WORDS BACK TO THEM

One of the wickedest things you can do to some folks is to quote their own words back to them. Let's go.

Senator Robert Dole, the Minority Leader, has gone and done Something You're Just Not Supposed To Do. He's published an article quoting various of his senatorial colleagues' comments and forecasts from January's debate on whether to authorize President Bush to use force in the Persian Gulf.

Herewith, a sampling of Current Wisdom (circa January 11, 1991), from the floor debate in what used to be called the World's Greatest Deliberative Body:

"President Bush appears to be on the verge of making a terrible mistake that will have tragic consequences for the whole world."

"The administration is making a great mistake."

"War would be a tragic mistake."

"We are on a disastrous course."

"The rush to combat now ... is ... tragically shortsighted."

"The President ... has moved in the wrong direction ..."

"We are going to make such a tremendous blunder."

"The President is marching this country toward a senseless and unnecessary war."

"The President is wrong to have threatened Iraq with war."

The President should retreat "back to the defensive positions of the period up to Nov. 8th."

(This one's my absolute favorite PDK).

"I suggest that it is a special arrogance that assumes that we can somehow bring peace" to the Persian Gulf region.

"American forces could well be bogged down by sandstorms and a determined enemy."

"I believe it would be better policy for the United States to cease from threatening war if Saddam Hussein does not withdraw from Kuwait."

In a brief comment sharing the page with the above quotes, a Wall Street Journal Journal editorial writer was in an especially wicked mood. As a result the Journal offered this wicked service to readers:

"Pop Quiz

"In the columns alongside, Senate Minority Leader Bob Dole quotes many Democratic Senators on their opposition to Operation Desert Storm. It appears, however, that senatorial courtesy has prevented Mr. Dole from identifying who of his colleagues said what. This no doubt will madden many readers. Therefore, we invite our readers to try to guess which Senators made which remark during their famous debate. One might call it the "See You in '92" quiz. Later this week, we'll publish the correct names of the speakers and their remarks. Anyone caught running up the score by peeking at the Congressional Record or videotapes of C-SPAN will be disqualified."

* * * * *

There is one U.S. Senator's pre-war pronouncement we can confidently quote for attribution. He is the senior Senator from Massachusetts. The Honorable Edward M. Kennedy had this to say back in opposing the use-of-force resolution back in January: "It'll be brutal and costly ... The administration refuses to release casualty estimates, but the 45,000 body bags the Pentagon has sent to the region are all the evidence we need of the high price in blood and lives that we will have to bear."

Sen. Kennedy's Massachusetts colleague, Sen. John Kerry, who also voted to the left of the United Nations at this critical moment in world history, has been working overtime recently as well. Kerry sent two blatantly contradictory letters to the same constituent who had written him on the Iraqi war question. Walter Carter had written urging Kerry's support for President Bush's authority to use force in the Gulf. Evidently, Carter's letter got placed in the "anti-war" pile. Carter received a prompt reply from Sen. Kerry, thanking Carter for his opposition to the war and assuring him, "I share your concerns."

Nine days later, constituent Carter received a second letter from Kerry, this one giving Bush all-out support. "From the outset of the invasion," Kerry wrote, "I have strongly and unequivocally supported President Bush's response to the crisis and the policy goals he has established with our military deployment in the Persian Gulf."

All in a day's work for members of the World's Greatest Deliberative Body. Of course, we taxpayers were only too glad to have paid for both these franked letters.

One yearns for Woody Allen to focus his formidable talents for satire on the United States Senate. Perhaps we could all laugh these luminarires out of public life.