Taste the joy of shared experiences

By Tony Smee

Matt Sanders' recent column regarding his experience at the Arts Council of Southeast Missouri dinner takes me back 16 years to a time when I was a recent college graduate working in an executive position with the local office of a not-for-profit organization.

My job thrust me into meetings, fund-raisers and social activities with members of the community who gave much of their time, talent and, yes, funds to the activities in which they believed.

Although I was educated and well-read with a nice title and the responsibility to raise thousands of dollars for a cause I believed in, I did not have the wisdom and experience to be comfortable in my own skin. I was immediately uneasy around the group with which my fate was intertwined.

How could a fresh-faced boy from the sand boils of the Bootheel possibly fit in with a group of bankers, lawyers, doctors and others who were renowned and distinguished in the big city of Cape Girardeau? Folks with names like Limbaugh, Randol, Oliver, Spradling, Russell, Kinder, Lewis and so many others loomed large.

I was lucky to be able to afford to fill my gas tank at the end of the week, and I was expected to rub elbows with those who were giving donations bigger than my monthly paycheck. Envy was human impulse and was an easy feeling to come by.

Somewhere along the way, through sweat and mutual appreciation of the effort we were supporting, I acquired great friendships with many of those who seemed out of reach -- out of reach, it turns out, only in my own mind. Over the coming months and years, I came to really know those individuals through professional contact and the countless hours of volunteerism they gave.

I also came to understand that they touched the lives of students, plumbers, teachers, carpenters, mechanics and others who also shared their love of community.

Social situation was not the key. It was commonality of hard-earned shared experience that gave them a sense of comfort and enjoyment during those endless dinner meetings.

Over the years, my associations through volunteerism helped lead me into a successful professional path that was influenced and touched by all of those same people.

Although I can now fill my gas tank with no worry, it is not money but life experience that gives me the ability to enjoy dinner conversation with people from all walks of life.

What once may have been awe and envy is now true appreciation for, and genuine recognition of, the success and corresponding generosity of the leaders in our community.

My hope for Mr. Sanders is that he can allow himself to get past basic human impulse and begin to taste the joy of shared life experience.

Maybe then one day he can help some other aspiring young professional be a little more comfortable in his own skin.

Tony Smee resides in Cape Girardeau.