Speak Out 5/23/06

Old joke

THE REPUBLICAN strategy comes down to an old joke. A pastor called to a new church arrives on the day of a funeral for a man he never knew. The new pastor asked if someone in the congregation would like to say a few words in praise of the deceased. After a long pause, from the back of the church a voice calls out, "His brother was even worse."

Mutual starvation

ALL OF our jobs are going to Mexico, and all of the Mexicans are coming here. I guess we'll all have to starve to death together.

Looking for talent

AS A big fan of "American Idol," I would be pleased if the fair brought one of the contestants on this show. It's also keeping with the SEMO District Fair's own talent contest.

Closer attraction

Supporters of a water park will drive to Santa Claus, Ind., to visit a water park? Does anyone believe that? There is another water park so much closer in Poplar Bluff, Mo.

Rescued love

The story about the pathetic dog that ended up at the humane society was great. The comment about rescued dogs making good pets is so true. After rescuing a 2-year-old dachshund from an abusive home, I spent the next 12 years with the most loyal, loving animal ever. If you want love and loyalty from a pet, you probably cannot go wrong in rescuing an adult dog.

Immigration laws

In my dreams I heard a true leader say: "Today I have issued an executive order requiring the Social Security Administration and IRS to share their database with immigration authorities to track illegal workers and their equally illegal employers. Today I have asked Congress to make the Employment Verification Program mandatory for all employers. No more voluntary obedience to our immigration employment laws." Then I woke up and heard stale promises all dressed up in secondhand clothes. Now I'm awake, mad and sending my citizen's order to Congress: "Enforce present laws before you pass new ones."

EMS appreciation

In recognition of National EMS Week, I'd like to thank those paramedics, emergency medical technicians and dispatchers who work for Cape County Private Ambulance. It's their daily services and assistance that go unrecognized and unappreciated, even when we use them the most. Residents of Cape Girardeau County should be proud to have such a skilled group of professionals working to serve them.

Cycle safety

I'M LOOKING forward to summer when all the shiny and colorful motorcycles will join other motorists on the road. But just remember, cyclists, to be aware of your surroundings. Loud pipes don't save lives, as you may think.

Cell-phone recordings

DO PEOPLE really think the National Security Agency wiretaps are a big deal? I don't. But those who do don't realize that every call they make on their cell phones is recorded and converted to an accessible computer file that can be played back on command. I recommend that if you complain about the wiretaps, don't be hypocritical and continue to talk on your cell phones.

Turf wars

THANK YOU for your editorial on the tawdry MOHELA travesty that resulted from Republican turf wars. How terrible.

Courthouse concerns

I UNDERSTAND the historical significance of May Greene Garden. However, I invite protesters to tour the Common Pleas Courthouse. Residents should realize the working environment of the old courthouse is not something we should be proud of. Employees who work here are among the offices hoping to relocate to the old federal building. The old courthouse is antiquated. It would make a great museum. Air from our air-conditioning units smells like urine. Employees are sick year around with allergies. The building has no elevator or security, but it does have mold. Plumbing has been worked on in the last several years, and we had to use portable toilets in the winter. The basement, where we file our older files, has standing water and crumbling walls. If the relocation of May Greene Garden is all that stands in the way of relocating us to a much more hospitable building, I don't think that should stand in the way. The space would be used for parking.