S/heroes among us

Women's History Month is an opportunity to reflect on the many achievements of women and the gains they have made. Are you looking for women to honor this month? You don't have to look far.

No doubt, some are thinking the same thing they think during Black History Month. Some deem these celebrations pointless or the results of ever-expanding political correctness. Others say we should be celebrating every day. We celebrate the people we know and love every day also, but that doesn't keep us from observing their birthdays once a year also. One doesn't rule out the other; it just complements the other. So though I went through a time of wrestling with similar thoughts, I eventually came back around, and I'm all for acknowledging people worthy of such honor.

Having said that, I do want to draw attention to who we honor. When we contemplate Women's History Month, to whom do we gravitate? Is it Women's National Hall of Fame members, such as Susan B. Anthony or Lucille Ball or Jane Addams? Maybe it's Maya Angelou, Pearl S. Buck, or Hillary Clinton. People have their list, and they have their reasons. But what about those who don't make anyone's list -- the women we step over as we march our way through March's list of women worthy of applause?

Most of us overlook the value of the people who are close and personal in our lives until it's too late. At that time, we think of the times we never spent together and the questions we never asked -- histories and stories we never heard because we didn't have enough interest to ask. Or perhaps we ignored them, then suffered regret after they were dead and buried -- all because our heads were buried in our phones while in their presence. What's Grandma's story of how she survived the Depression? How did Mom fall in love with Dad? How did Mrs. Jones, the neighbor, start that business she works so hard to maintain? Do you even speak to your neighbor? We miss so much right here because our eyes are focused over there -- anywhere but where we are.

I remember when my dad unexpectedly died at 46 years of age. I knew then that what I didn't ask him before that day, I could no longer ask him; it was too late. But have I learned my lesson? Have I learned enough from my dad's death to cherish the time with those who remain -- or do I bypass those I know while I celebrate those I only know through the lens of school teachers and media mentions? I used to tell my students, "If you graduate knowing more about George Washington or Albert Einstein than you know about yourself, shame on you." I explained that to mean that when we get to know our families, we get to know ourselves.

So who are the s/heroes we need to honor beginning this month? They're all around us: single women who choose to give birth despite less than ideal circumstances, wives who sacrifice careers to raise their children, teachers who spend their own money to buy resources for needy students. Do we honor them in March -- or any month? Do we show respect for the elderly woman whose day we could brighten just by sitting and listening to her talk, asking her questions that remind her that she matters, that we value her? Let this month be the start of a tradition -- not just once a year, not just to do our annual duty -- to reach out and touch the people who are every bit as deserving as the ones whose names scroll across screens and whose bios grace the Internet. Their lives matter, too.

By all means, learn about the famous women we all "know." Never stop learning about them, acknowledging them, and celebrating them. But don't forget about the everyday women in our lives, either -- the ones whose feet we get to sit at and glean from, whose wisdom made us who we are today, who cook, clean, run businesses, and inspire generations. Don't miss out on the lessons, the loving and the legacy they possess that enrich our lives. Most of them don't consider themselves worthy of being honored, but that's what makes them even more special. Just because they're not looking for recognition doesn't mean they don't deserve it. Let's surprise them. I challenge us to take a unique approach this year: Let's make Women's History Month something deeply personal and potentially life-changing -- for ourselves as well as for them.

Adrienne Ross is owner of Adrienne Ross Communications and a former Southeast Missourian editorial board member. Contact her at aross@semissourian.com.