River City Journal: Fearless forecasts for the year ahead

It will come as no surprise to any of you that the Sullivan household was fast asleep hours before the new year arrived at the stroke of midnight, which was either Wednesday night or Thursday morning. I never know which it is.

But I stayed up long enough to reflect on some of the things we can expect in the new year. I like to guess what might happen. If I'm even close to being right, you might think I'm a lot smarter than I really am. And if, as I expect, I'm wrong, then I can write a funny column next year about my foolish observations.

I have no crystal ball, but I can pass along some expectations I have for next year. I'm sure you have your list too. Let's compare.

First off, we've got a new president taking office next year. He has a funny middle name: Milhous. It's a wonder he got elected with a name like that. Maybe some voters thought a "Milhous" might be better than the middle-named "Baines" we've had the past few years.

If you're up on all the latest rock musicians, you're probably wondering what's going to happen to the Beatles. People in the know say they will give their last public performance sometime this year.

The Palestine Liberation Organization is getting a stronger foothold. Some fellow named Yasser Arafat is itching to become the leader of this band of thugs.

Boeing is about ready to put its 747 in the air. I wonder if something called a "Jumbo Jet" is truly feasible. My concern is not technical. I simply wonder is something "jumbo" ought to fly. But what the heck. The French are getting ready to test an aircraft shaped like a paper airplane they say will go faster than the speed of sound. I don't know which I fear most: a plane too big to get off the ground or one that goes faster than I talk.

The way things are shaping up for next year, Israel is likely to elect its first female prime minister. Born in Kiev, Golda Meir grew up in Milwaukee. Wis.! Imagine that.

Medical advances constantly amaze me. There's this doctor down in Texas, Denton Cooley, who says he's ready to put an artificial heart inside a man's chest. Maybe he can pull it off. After all, he did the first successful heart transplant last year. Will wonders never cease?

This war we're in has dragged on long enough, according to a large number of folks who are tired of seeing the bombing and killing played out on TV. Maybe this is the year some troops will be withdrawn from Vietnam.

Down in Florida, the Apollo program is ready to send men to the moon. To the moon! It's starting to look like Ralph Kramden knew what he was talking about all along. Can you imagine walking on the moon?

Rock music is here to stay. Some die-hard fans are planning an outdoor concert of a few bands someplace in upstate New York called Woodstock. I can't imagine many music lovers will want to spend a whole day sitting in cow patties, even if some really good bands show up.

As you probably know, I'm a big fan of drive-through lanes. You can get food, drop off your laundry, see a movie, get your car washed -- all without leaving the driver's seat. What next? Well, some bank in some town in New York says it's going to put a cash machine next to a drive-up lane. It's hard to imagine anything like that will catch on.

The National Educational Television network is rehearsing a show for children where hand puppets talk and sing and dance and teach letters of the alphabet and numbers. Kids will get over the novelty quickly. It's hard to hold a child's attention long.

Folks at the Department of Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency are setting up computer network they say could turn into something called a "global internet." And here I am trying to get used to phones with buttons instead of dials.

What? 2009? I thought it was 1969. Gosh, it seems like yesterday.

R. Joe Sullivan is the editorial page editor of the Southeast Missourian. E-mail: jsullivan@semissourian.com.