Opinion: Kenneth Bender: 'The happy warrior'

Editor's note: The following are excerpts of a eulogy delivered by Jay Knudtson at Kenneth Bender's Funeral on March 17.

While departing the Noon Lion's Club Meeting this past Wednesday, I walked out with Dr. Tim Talbert and Judge Stephen Limbaugh, Sr. I had just reported that our dear friend, Kenny Bender, was in the ICU at Saint Francis Hospital with multiple ailments, and I was worried about him. (You see, Kenny Bender was 97 years old.) I indicated that in spite of all of these health challenges, Kenny's spirits were good and he was concerned about how everyone else was doing and had asked me to greet them, to which Dr. Talbert quickly responded, "Kenneth Bender is to me a great example of a happy warrior!"

I first met Kenny Bender some 30-plus years ago when joining the Cape Noon Lions Club, and little did I know how special of a friend he was going to become. He was a World War II hero who served in the Army Air Corps and flew 22 missions on a B-29 Super Fortress and received the distinguished Flying Cross, two Bronze Stars and two Presidential Citations. If you have ever had the privilege of hearing one of Kenny's presentations on this experience, it will forever be embedded in your mind.

My relationship with Kenny began to deepen as we nominated him for the prestigious "Spirit of America" award that he received in 2013. (This award is sponsored by the Southeast Missourian and is arguably the most prestigious award given out within our community). Kenneth Bender was such a terrific and worthy recipient of this award!

In 2020, we celebrated Kenny and Martha's 70th wedding anniversary, and due to Covid we held a driveway celebration that dozens upon dozens of cars drove by the Benders as they sat like two lovebirds at the end of their driveway on Brookwood and waved to all the cars driving by waving to them wishing a happy anniversary.

Unfortunately, in the coming year 2021, Kenny would lose his "soulmate" after 71 years together, and he was now on his own. His relationship with Martha was one we could all only aspire to have. There is no doubt that Kenny was truly heartbroken after losing her, but he would carry on.

Kenny and I would grow closer as I visited him in the hospital over the course of the next few years, and I would just sit and listen -- listen to a man with now 97 years of living to recollect the good, the bad and the ugly times that he had endured. He would speak in a way that I don't believe I have heard anyone speak -- so eloquently, so diplomatically and so compassionately. I recall one conversation during a time when there was controversy surrounding the National Anthem and certain athletes protesting, and he took my hand and with a very bewildered and perplexed look on his face said, "Jay, why is anyone kneeling and disrespecting our country? I just don't understand?" In that moment, he wasn't angry, he wasn't bitter, he was simply confused as to why anyone would disrespect the land that he loved and fought for...He was again a happy warrior. The American English Dictionary defines a "happy warrior" in the following way: "A person who is undiscouraged by difficulties or opposition."

Yes, the loss of Kenny Bender is a huge and devastating loss, and I will miss my friend terribly. But this loss is so much more than just the loss of a man. This is the loss of a Great American who was 97 years of age and an example of everything good. And quite frankly, they just don't build them like that anymore. Our community and country lost a small piece of our heart and soul when Kenny Bender passed away, and we should all celebrate both the example he set and the legacy he left... It would seem to me that our country today could sure use a few more happy warriors.

Jay B. Knudtson was mayor of Cape Girardeau from 2002-2010.