Ohmygosh! Wait till you read this!

This is a column about sports.

It is not about St. Patrick's Day.

I do not obey the rule that says anyone named Sullivan has to write about a holy day in March.

I believe in banshees but not elves. I have it on the highest authority that you have to believe in the wee people to be truly Irish.

(Here's something important: Many of you will be tempted to stop reading this column before it concludes. Not today. You will absolutely want to read the special notice at the end. But not yet. No peeking. This is a sports column, after all. Show your sportsmanship. Wait until you get to the end of the column before you read the special notice. Please.)

If you had to classify my interest in sports, I would fall into the category of fair-weather fan. I like to root for winning teams.

About 15 years ago I moved to Kansas, where -- by law -- you can't get a driver's license or vote until you sign a pledge supporting the Jayhawks basketball team. I even went to a couple of games at Phog Allen's temple of hoops and caught "Rock Chalk, Jayhawk!" fever, which, as it turns out, is not deadly.

Since moving to Cape Girardeau, I have had occasion to get pumped up about Kurt Warner and Mark McGwire. And where are they now?

A few years ago I joined the enthusiastic Indian tribe that whooped and hollered when the Indians -- remember the Indians? -- made it to the Big Dance for the first time as a Division I team. Those were the guys.

This year it's the women's team at the university that has made life as a fair-weather fan worth the effort.

There they are, getting ready to meet the Stanford Cardinal. Personally, I think it's a shame a school as big and prosperous as the one in Palo Alto can't afford more than one bird.

The Cardinal.

Anyone from the Midwest knows they should be Cardinals. With an S. But, what can you do about it?

A lot of enthusiastic folks who have been loyal this year to the Redhawk women tell me it's a great honor to be in the NCAA tournament. I believe them. They say just getting into the tournament is a crowning glory. I believe them. They say they'll still love the Redhawks after they lose to Stanford.

Whoa! I don't believe that.

First, a bunch of these so-called fans will drop a losing team like a dirty diaper.

Second, I think the women we've sent to Denver are going to win.

So there.

Redhawks: I'm counting on you to uphold my reputation as a brilliant prognosticator. It's all up to you.

n

Special notice: (If you peeked, I know who you are.) It's official. Please mark the afternoon of June 25 on your calendar. Circle it in red.

Dear and patient readers, I am pleased to announced that June 25 is the date of the first-ever Louis J. Lorimier Memorial World's Greatest Downtown Golf Tournament, which will conclude with a lip-smackin' all-you-can-eat catfish buffet at the Red House Interpretive Center.

Go ahead. Pinch yourself just to make sure you're not dreaming.

Proceeds from the tournament -- one hole will go through the CVB building -- will go to the Red House foundation.

A zillion details will be forthcoming in a few days. Don't miss this opportunity to have fun downtown and walk in the footsteps of Lewis and Clark and all those other swell golfers who have made history right here in River City.

R. Joe Sullivan is the editor of the Southeast Missourian.