NEWTON'S LAW: LET'S NOT BUG SOVIET UNION WITH THE TRIVIA OF DEMOCRACY

Beware, Soviet citizens. Democracy is not always pretty. It's still the best form of government, mind you, but Soviets should at least have all the facts before stumbling headlong into independence.

The opening of political processes ensures a broad discussion of many issues. America's history is laced with the grand and eloquent orations of those who have guided this nation. Their words inspire us, as does their dedication to the values countrymen hold dear.

Sometimes, however, entomologists jump into the fray. It's never quite as inspiring after that.

Congresspersons can't have fun all the time. There's only so much time they can set aside for trivial pursuits like determining aid to the Soviets, balancing the federal budget and figuring out new and creative ways to raise their own salaries. There comes a time when you have to get down to the real business of choosing a national insect.

That time might be at hand.

Some quiet posturing is taking place to elevate some crawling or fluttering thing to this exalted status. Think of the honor.

This debate is getting a higher profile lately because of a man's campaign to push lightning bugs to the forefront of the issue. Dean King, editor of the Southern Farmer's Almanac, is hoping to start a grassroots campaign among school children to pressure Congress to enact this designation.

King insists that the United States has a national anthem, a national bird and a national flower, so why not a national insect?

He favors the lightning bug because it native to the United States and occupies a nostalgic place in the experiences of American children and adults. It is awe-inspiring and scientifically useful, he contends, saying it best exemplifies the spirit of this nation's ingenuity.

Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin would be proud to have the lightning bug as the national insect, King insists.

(In their haste to break free of British tyranny, Jefferson and Franklin must have overlooked the national need to recognize bugs.)

Jefferson might also find it noteworthy that another Virginian, Rep. Thomas J. Bliley Jr., is considering sponsorship of the lightning bug legislation.

Bliley won't sneak it through Congress without a fight. A North Carolina representative, Stephen L. Neal, is on record as sponsor of the honeybee for national insect.

(King pooh-poohs this choice. "[It's] imported from Europe," he complains. "And it stings.")

A more formidable opponent is the monarch butterfly, which has the backing of dozens of environmental groups, the Entomological Society of America and California's powerful congressman Leon Panetta.

Dr. Donald Sutherland, a scientist and mo~narch butterfly supporter, has decried the lightning bug's qualifications. "They kind of flit around, and that's it," says Sutherland.

Nonsense, says Dr. James Lloyd, the nation's leading expert on lightning bugs. ("It's a small field," he says, "but I carry the mantle.") Lightning bugs have chemical systems so sophisticated, Lloyd says, that major universities and even NASA study them for practical applications.

There is no telling where such debates will meander. Lightning bugs seem a populist enough choice to land this designation, and one should never underestimate how far a good grassroots lobby will carry you.

Scientists say, however, that the unique chemical reaction that causes these bugs to light up has little to do with illumination and a lot to do with the insect's sexual communi~ca~tion. Therefore, a filibuster by Jesse Helms is assured.

Should we wish democracy on the Soviets? Sure. Why should we have all the fun?