NEW MATH FOR TODAY'S STUDENT: GREEN HAIR EQUALS SUSPENSION -- NO MULTIPLE CHOICE ALLOWED

An honor-roll student in West Plains ran smack dab into the school district's zero-tolerance policy -- a concept in modern education that tolerates no minor infractions for fear of Columbine shootings -- when he came to school with his hair dyed green and was immediately suspended.

The young fellow's parents not only condoned his St. Patrick's Day spirit, but helped him with his hair-color makeover. His teachers felt the new do was disruptive, even though it didn't violate rules in the student handbook.

There are some good lessons here: One is that parents need to give a little more thought to the likely outcome of their familial frivolity. Another is that school officials might consider alternatives to suspension. Sending the kid home to wash his hair might have been an option.