MISSOURIANA

Governor Ashcroft reports that 88 percent of our children entering kindergarten are ready to learn, a condition that seems to disappear by the 5th grade.

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Four years ago President Bush promised 30 million new jobs, an estimate that must have included Democrats moving to Washington if Governor Clinton wins.

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If Missouri had a term limitation law, George Brett could never have reached that 3,000 hit mark.

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The trouble with Ross Perot's political platform is you have to have $5 to buy his book to learn what it is.

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If Harry Truman were around today, he'd probably be too disgusted to vote for anybody.

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George Bush's campaign is based on the premise that we pretend the last four years didn't happen and we start all over again.

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One of Bill Clinton's least appealing campaign slogans is: He kept the killer bees out of Arkansas.

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Vote for the party that has kept this campaign on a high level, not the one filled with potheads, rapists and atheists.

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Ross Perot says he got involved in politics again because of the demands of the people - all of whom happen to be on his payroll.

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Today's politicians keep saying this year's election is about competence. The problem is the politicians know what it means but they can't find any examples.

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George Bush has been in Missouri so often, he'll soon meet the requirements for state citizenship.