MISSOURIANA

After all the dissension it caused, it's difficult to understand why they call the president's address to Congress the "State of the Union."

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Large industries have been laying off so many workers it seems the only people who have secure jobs these days are those who predict industrial work reductions.

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Missouri will soon have a new Gaming Commission to regulate most gambling. We presume that doesn't include the chances we voters take every election day.

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President Clinton says the United States is exporting too many of its high-tech ideas to be manufactured in Europe and Asia. Well, we've still got Veg-A-Matic to fall back on.

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Is it possible that all the snow that has been hitting Missouri was really just delayed reaction from last November's election?

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Maybe Bill Clinton is destined to become America's "education president." After all, the wealthy have learned they have to pay Social Security taxes on wages for household help.

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A visitor from outer space might conclude America's motto is "Don't Cut Our Social Security Checks."