MISSOURIANA

It's too bad Halloween and Election Day couldn't have been held on the same day this year, giving us twice as many spooks as usual.

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One thing you can say about campaign telephone solicitors: They're no worse than long-distance phone salesmen.

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Clinton assures voters the economy is great, and Dole says it's terrible. Which is about the usual score for politicians: Both are wrong.

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Congressional candidates who promise they'll change federal programs aren't believable. Have you ever tried to convince 434 strangers they were wrong?

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A woman is charged with a felony for feeding parking meters. If she were taking the money out, it would only be a misdemeanor.

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The St. Louis Rams are last in offense and defense and first in state tax dollars waster.