MISSOURIANA

Times change. When John Ashcroft was governor, he was embarrassed by the lack of revenue to fund essential state services. Gov. Mel Carnahan is embarrassed because the state has too much revenue.

* * * * *

Behind every parent of septuplets is a group of grandparents living in dread of the first request for baby sitting.

* * * * *

The problem with writing paragraphs such as these is that the best ones always appear in the middle of the night and disappear by morning.

* * * * *

Missouri is the only state in the country that doesn't allow local governments to fully regulate billboards. Reformers are urging the state motto to be revised to "The will of the people has never been probated."

* * * * *

Say what you will about modern technology, scientific breakthroughs and new inventions, like got worse when officials warned against cooking dressing inside the Thanksgiving turkey.

* * * * *

It's frightening to wives and mothers that Christmas is so close, but it's even scarier to taxpayers who suddenly realize the proximity of the next General Assembly.

* * * * *

A lawsuit before the Missouri Supreme Court tried to resolve the question of when gambling casinos are a boat in a moat. Sounds like a decision that should have been written by Dr. Seuss.

* * * * *

Ending school desegregation payments in Missouri may eventually resemble the patient who survived the surgery but died from the modern post-operation miracle remedies.