MISSOURIANA

Most of us are afraid of Big Government until we find out how inefficient and incompetent it really is.

It cost U.S. taxpayers more than $2 million to send Elian Gonzalez back to Cuba. That the most the country has spent on foreign travel since NASA sent John Glenn into orbit.

Officials at the Federal Trade Commission say there are as many TV political commercials as there are commercials for used cars. Of course, the political ads aren't as believable.

Al Gore has dismissed so many campaign consultants that if the pace continues, he'll have no choice but to fire himself.

Recent laboratory tests have discovered that guns actually do kill people.

Financial statements filed by some members of Congress reveal they owe much more than they own. That's just the kind of folks we need to handle trillion-dollar budgets.

Having Dennis Miller broadcasting NFL games will be like energy secretary Bill Richardson explaining why OPEC had to raise oil prices.