MISSOURI WATCH: IT'S TIME TO CREATE THE HARRY FOR SHOW ME PERFORMANCES

Let Hollywood have its Oscar, the world of music its Grammy, the TV people their Emmy. Missouri has its share of make believe and deserves its own award. So in honorof our state's most famous citizen, we hereby establish the Harry.

The award is in loving memory of Missouri's foremost national actor, a former U.S. president, a World War I hero who won the gratitude of the men who serve under him, a plainspoken citizen who displayed more grace in retirement than his predecessors or successors, and the fellow who blew the hell out of Japan with an atomic bomb that ended history's greatest war. (You didn't think it was the actor from Bonzo, did you?"

If this record doesn't deserve a Harry, I'll join a rap music group. Besides, HST wasn't a bad actor himself. When he went before the voters, he portrayed himself as a poor, downtrodden country politician who wouldn't know a stolen vote from an absentee ballot. The truth is Harry had the backing of one of the most corrupt political machines in our history, and if he didn't know he was the light of Boss Tom's eye, he certainly wasn't capable of tying his shoes or drying dishes for Bess every evening. As a matter of fact, everybody loved Harry, except his mother-in-law, who wasn't keen on anybody.

Having established the Harry, let's present the awards for outstanding acting in Missouri in 1996:

Best Picture: "Mel and Mag" is the hands-down winner, attracting some 2 million Missourians to the box office when it premiered last November. This classic love-hate story of two prominent citizens who battle for the heart and soul of an entire state combined classic themes of "War and Peace," an epic of boring proportions, with the lighthearted, comedic qualities of "Mr. Jones Goes to Jefferson City." The film was a box-office smash, with production costs coming in something short of a near-record $4 million. Although it didn't produce unanimous critical acclaim, most Missouri moviegoers seemed to like its completely predictable ending.

Best Actor: This year's Harry goes to Mel Carnahan, one of the two stars of "Mel and Mag," for his adroit handling of a difficult role, particularly for a Democrat in today's new era of screen reality. The recipient had plenty of competition for this year's best-actor award, however, both from inside the Jefferson City acting community and in the two principal thespian centers of St. Louis and Kansas City. His chief competitor was veteran actor Bob Griffen, noted for his outstanding role in "From Here to Eternity" in which he played a besieged political figure who kept on winning re-election in spite of opposition from both his friends and enemies. Another nominee for his role in "Coach From Hell" was Larry Smith, who displayed super acting skills as he predicted, with exceptional poise, a victory the next weekend after suffering humiliating defeats during each previous weekend. In the end, members of the Show Me Arts and Film Academy chose Mel for the unassuming ease he displayed in filling a role that called for skillful neglect of major problems and repeated failures to fill job vacancies.

Best Actress: Again, the movie "Mel and Mag" produced a nearly unanimous choice for best actress, Mag Kelly, whose portrayal of a woman battling tremendous odds won the hearts of many Missourians, although not a majority. Carrying her fight to the public despite polls and poverty, her role in a low-budget film was a demanding one, requiring her to portray a woman working full-time during the day and then pursuing her dreams for exhausting periods after work. Although some fans left her when the final award vote was taken, she battled apathy and poverty with a dignity seldom seen on the silver screen.

Best Screenplay: "Leaving St. Louis" was the academy's unanimous choice, depicting the decline of the once-proud French village as its residents flee the ravages of decay, death, disease, despair, destruction, drugs, drunkenness and graffiti. The film also provided a Harry for best supporting actor to Free Man Boz, who played the village chief beset with his people's failure to stick around long enough to be counted in the next census. The film also featured a new actor, making his first appearance, who won the critics' hearts for his portrayal of a lovable antagonist to Chief Boz. Keep your eyes open for this promising new thespian, Constable Harmon.

~Jack Stapleton of Kennett is the editor of Missouri News and Editorial Service.