MISSOURI WATCH: DIGITALIZATION OF AMERICA

While visiting recently with a member of the General Assembly on the third floor of the Missouri Capitol, a legislator and long-time acquaintance began discussing the alleged moral failings of a statewide official. Taking mental notes of what was being said, I noticed the state official in question was standing only a few feet away, close enough to overhear the loud, obscene phrases that were being used to describe his shortcomings. Warning the lawmaker, I suggested it might be wise for him to soften his voice, if not his judgments, for the sake of amenity. I was shocked, and embarrassed, when the legislator raised his voice in what was an obvious attempt to embarrass his victim who was in the company of others.

Ruminating on the episode later, I recalled with considerable sorrow how radically our American society has changed over the past two or three decades, how lightly we hold what once was considered only basic courtesy and respect for others. That transformation has occurred not only in everyday life but has seeped into the political world with what I fear may be damaging repercussions.

Those of us who grew up in rural Missouri and were taught to treat our neighbors as our friends, because that's really what they were, have always experienced a kind of culture shock when we visited metropolitan areas where friendliness seemed to be a lifestyle option. This isn't to say our urban neighbors did not display courtesy on occasion, but the anonymity of large-city life permitted a bit more permissiveness than we were accustomed to in small towns where everyone not only knew your name but almost every family secret. The shock was even worse when a green Missouri hick would visit such famous cities as Chicago and New York, where you were more often than not treated as an unwelcome leper. These insults you bore with some degree of tolerance, if only because you realized you would soon return to more amenable surroundings and the comfort of friends. Rudeness only occurred in The City.

Today, as disrespect and boorish behavior permeate our society, one is reminded of how our ancestors must have lived in the Middle Ages, when life was extremely difficult and where human life was just as cheap. Sometime in history, perhaps at the moment our forbearers realized survival did not depend on slaying strangers and undoubtedly after the wave of the Black Plague had swept through western Europe, the sanctity of others, even those unlike ourselves, became a part of what is inaccurately called civilization. Mankind is at this point in his evolution still imbued with a few of the violent chromosomes of Genghis Khan and Attila the Hun, but our ancestors were intelligent enough to recognize there were other ways of existing among neighbors and foreign tribes. So we adopted the quality of charity not because we were necessarily always charitable, but because we recognized there was inherent worth in every life and because society could not thrive, much less improve, without a modicum degree of moral behavior.

I never heard either of my grandfathers speak an unkind word about others, and both were remarkable men not only because they were uncommonly courteous but because they were uncommonly solicitous of the feelings of those around them. Neither would ever have thought of speaking illy of someone within hearing distance, and both would be shocked if they returned today to witness a redneck driver displaying his middle digit at an elderly motorist he believed had cut him off at an intersection. They would be disturbed at the vulgar language one must accept on the nation's airwaves, on its television and movie screens and in ordinary conversations.

I'm sure some readers will find this jeremiad only a quaint, old-fashioned rumination by someone from an earlier age. I enjoy being described as square, as in square-shooter, because it helps describe an age I once knew and thought would be permanent. I was wrong. Respect for others is viewed today as a relic of the past, as out of date as the gramophone and the kaleidoscope. But there was a wisdom attached to previous behavior that eludes today's society. That wisdom was the recognition that it requires orderly behavior to create an orderly society, and without that order, society is teetering on the brink of anarchy. Freedom to do anything one wants is not what a democracy is about. We can only create a better tomorrow if we build a more moral society today. I'm not sure we are up to the task. I can only pray I'm wrong.

~Jack Stapleton of Kennett is the editor of the Missouri News and Editorial Service.