MISSOURI COMMENTARY: WE'VE GOT MONICA -- AND NOTHING ELSE BUT MONICA -- ON OUR MINDS

Forget Monica for a moment or two. Let's see what is going on in the real world.

Iran: There is a tinge of moderation in Iran. The Iranians beat the United States in the World Cup soccer match. Iranian athletes and American athletes engaged in sportsmanlike competition, and the world didn't come to an end. The Iranian people celebrated their victory and didn't kick us around with any Great Satan language.

A soccer game doesn't a peace make. But a soccer game with Iranians going bonkers just like Chicago Bulls fans becomes at least a quasi-diplomatic event. Whether it is a reprise of the ping-pong diplomacy that presaged the opening to China in the early 1970s remains to be seen.

President Mohammed Khatami, the "good" ayatollah, seems to want "normalcy" (a la Warren G. Harding). Khatami is our great Iranian hope. The Iranian people overwhelmingly supported him in his election last year, but he is surrounded by the old guard in the parliament and elsewhere in government.

After 19 years of acerbic accusation, after the torment of 52 hostages held for 444 days, after the humiliation of a failed rescue mission, after acts of terrorism or attempted terrorism, there is slight cause for a bit of optimism in U.S.-Iran relations.

An accommodation -- still, at least, a distant prospect -- is a hope in a world that could use some hope. But, U.S.-Iran relations aren't all that big in television news where Monica Lewinsky is the dominant, almost pre-emptive story night after night after night.

And what story do the television networks emphasize? Monica's first lawyer told the grand jury he did not know he did not know she had received some gifts from President Clinton.

China: Richard Nixon's greatest diplomatic accomplishment was his opening to China, sometimes called engaging China. Every U.S. president since Nixon has followed the same policy.

Ronald Reagan flirted with a rollback to an isolate-China theme in the 1980 campaign. He thought better of it. It's a lot easier to fantasize about foreign policy as a candidate for president than it is to formulate policy when one is in the oval office.

Bill Clinton did the same in 1992. He bashed George Bush as being "soft on China" and too tolerant of its human rights abuses. Now the hard-line Republicans are having fund bashing Clinton as he kisses up to the PRC.

And what story do the television networks emphasize? The latest Linda Tripp tapes reportedly show that Tripp believed Monica had a "sexy" voice.

Middle East: Here there is less cause for optimism but more cause for public attention. The Israeli government is expanding the boundaries of Jerusalem, just as a simple matter of urban reform, we are told. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu: "There is no diplomatic or political significance to this. It has no bearing on the peace negotiations." This is patently untrue, and there are other potentially significant developments taking place -- the Israeli-Palestinian peace process.

The New York Times puts it thus: "The new boundaries would expand Jerusalem's territory by 50 percent by annexing Israeli land to the west. Although only Israeli territory is involved, Mr. Netanyahu should not be redefining Jerusalem's borders in advance of negotiations about its future."

And what story do the television networks emphasize? Monica's mother and father are feuding over how best to defend her against the Ken Starr crusade.

Russia: The Russian economy is in the pits. Outside investors find little cause to put their money on a free-enterprise horse that shows little sing of getting out of the gate. The IMF is deciding whether to make a massive new loan to try to fend off further deterioration.

Teeter-tottering Russia, with the world's second largest concentration of missiles and nuclear war heads, commands only secondary attention in the media.

And what story do the television networks emphasize? Monica's new hair style gets extensive air time.

India-Pakistan: The Doomsday Clock inches a bit closer to midnight. Two external enemies face off on common borders each with the wherewithal to annihilate the other and, perhaps, take other international victims with them.

And what story do the television networks emphasize? Monica seems to have gained some weight.

Asian economic crisis: Indonesia hits bottom. South Korea fends off national bankruptcy by declaring many of its most prestigious firms to be bankrupt. Billions of dollars are needed from the IMF just to keep the country afloat.

Japan, the nation with the once vaunted impregnable economy, is patently pregnable. Maybe the world financial system can escape the consequences of a calamity in Indonesia. Maybe South Korea isn't all that big enough to take everyone over the cliff. But if mighty Japan -- the economic dynamo of the post-war era -- slips into deeper and prolonged economic doldrums -- can the world trade and finance structure escape without a scar? Can our economy escape without a scar?

And what story do the television networks emphasize? Whatever possessed Monica's father to put Monica's destiny in the hands of an idiot like William Ginsberg?

Iraq: Just when the Iraq crises seems to quiet down, some new revelation pops into play. The world now knows that Iraq loaded deadly nerve gas into missile warheads in the 1991 Persian Gulf War. Up until now, Iraq had maintained that their nerve as program was "purely experimental." Iraq is caught in yet another lie.

And what story to the television networks emphasize? Monica saw a newspaper columnist at a restaurant and asked the columnist why she was writing scathing columns about her.

Kosovo: The NATO powers claim they will not repeat the vacillation demonstrated in Bosnia. This time, supposedly, Slobodan Milosovic will not fool the big boys. Never again will the free world allow "ethnic cleansing." This time the NATO powers will act, necessarily implying that military might -- especially U.S. military might -- will be brought to bear. A wider Balkan war -- with all that potentially implies (remember 1914) -- is a possibility.

And what story to the television networks emphasize? Did Ken Starr commit another boo-boo in admitting he and his team are seasoned leakers?

Campaign finance: Money and politics get uglier and uglier. Congress and the president show no remorse over the rancid, money-soaked 1996 election. Every attempt is being made to make the 1998 off-year election just as sordid.

So far, congressional candidates have used 20 percent more hard money than they did at the same time in the last off-year election of 1994. So far, the political parties have raised more in soft money ($100 million) than was raised in the 1996 presidential race.

Believe it or not, the real big money for the 1998 election is yet to come in the period between now and November. Lots of donors wait until the weeks before the election.

The Republicans held a $10 million dinner, setting a record for a single night on the venality scale. The Democrats hope to raise multimillions at some dinners featuring President Clinton. Remember, he was the candidate who vigorously campaigned on the necessity for campaign-finance reform.

Sen. Alphonse D'Amato, R-N.Y., has $17 million already in the bank. Much more to come. Congressman Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., one of his Democratic opponents, has $10 million already in the bank. If these two face off in November, the egregious spending may win the 1998 Huffington-Feinstein Award for the most money-drenched Senate campaign in American history.

Because the economy is so good, some pundits are estimating that 98 percent of the congressional incumbents seeking re-election will prevail -- yet the money chase continues unabated as if every congressional seat were in doubt.

There are 60 House members running unopposed. On average, these incumbents have raised $360,000 each with a predicted total of $600,000 each by November. Can anyone explain why a congressman would need $600,000 to run unopposed? What motivates the special interests to make campaign contributions to politicians running unopposed? The Republican leadership in Congress is too busy raising money to put campaign-spending reform on the front burner.

And what story do the television networks emphasize? Monica is going to turn over a list of the books she purchased last year.

Tobacco: Every member of Congress is in favor of keeping cigarettes away from young people. The tobacco companies want to put billions on the table. Congress cannot agree on what to do or how to do it.

And what story do the television networks emphasize? Two fresh hours of Monica's tapes are leaked to U.S. News and World Reports.

Social Security: More evidence accumulates that there is no magic wand to protect Social Security in the early part of the 21st century. Prayers won't help. When the avalanche of baby boomers of post-World War II become an avalanche of retirees, Social Security will be down the tubes unless changes are made -- the sooner, the easier. This is the stuff of actuaries and green eye shade types. This doesn't bleed enough for television.

And what story do the television networks emphasize? The leaked tapes surreptitiously recorded by Linda Tripp may indicate that Monica may still have a bit of a crush on President Clinton.

Managed care: Some polls are indicating that health, in general, and managed care, in particular, is uppermost in the minds of people 50 and over. Congress decries and pontificates -- but dawdles.

And what story do the television networks emphasize? Monica has a big spread in Vanity Fair and appears to be more of a vamp than a sweet, novice intern.

As a people, in our heart of hearts we seem to prefer the National Enquirer to the New York Times. We prefer titillation to education. We prefer scandal to substance. As a people, we are not alone in this mindset. Thinking about and discussing difficult issues can be painful. Pulitzer Prize-seeking reporters can have a better shot at fame by peeking through garbage cans than doing ponderous research on grave societal problems.

But there is a price that ultimately has to be paid. Politicians perceive that the electorate is more interested in sensation than in substance. Politicians, accordingly, play their own sensational, often demagogic music to keep the public tuned in. Serious thought about serious issues is the victim of our political nature to enjoy intrigue more than reality.

Tom Eagleton of St. Louis is a former U.S. senator from Missouri and an occasional columnist for the Southeast Missourian.